Memories are fresh in my mind as if it was yesterday. Exactly two years ago, we were sitting and folding the clothes into the container, chatting excitedly about the days ahead. We enjoyed going to the supermarket so much and made a list of the things to buy. We prepared a lot of things to start living on our own. Exactly that morning of September 2013, we were speeding under the hot sun, towards the future yet unknown, leaving everything else behind. It was exactly this time of that year that we, young and foolish, abandoned the dank room, the jealous accusations, the fearsome demons, the vast emptiness. We were energetic, finding answers to our questions, discovering our true selves, experiencing different feelings, immune to the fearsome thunders and fiery ravines. No matter how horrendous the path ahead was, it was sincerely the worthwhile cost of our independence.
And you were the one who gave me those days.
Now it is just the eternal remnant of that new beginning. As I crossed another chapter of my life, all I remember is you. I’m walking, I keep walking, towards a new unknown future, and I know this time it is a terrible enigma of injustice and struggle. Time keeps ticking and it is bringing me to a new place where red, fearsome demons would destroy every inch of me, clawing at my heart, leaving dark entrails around me.
Why can’t I turn back time? Why are humans not meant to be omnipresent? Why does the human life not expand into eternity?
Stay with me. Only then can I endure against any upcoming horror. Only then can I get through another night.
2 comments
I can honestly feel the pain in your writing. I don’t have anything of use to say, just that I’m sorry you feel this pain. I hope the future holds something very different to what you see ahead.
You opened some wounds accompanied with some sweet memories. I wish your pain lessens and things turn around for you