I am really trying here. I’m trying to do things that make me happy. I am trying to figure out ways to make things work. My kids are going away for the weekend. I will be alone and I know what that is going to do to me. I will want to end it. I will be completely alone with no one to talk to. No one will txt or call. I tried to make plans but all fell through. The quiet suffocates me. I can already feel the pain. I know if I don’t figure something out I will try to end it and there will be no one to stop me or realize it for 4 days. That in itself should say how sad my life is. I hate myself and I hate this life 🙁
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Keep doing what you have just done, now. Seriously. SP is a lifeline to many. Keep posting, keep staying on here and active.
You pick up the phone and call a friend or relative. You enjoy reading a book you’ve never had time for. You bingewatch Netflix. You write a thank you card by hand. You reorganize that closet. You go to an art gallery. You buy a bottle of wine. You try Words with Friends. You offer to walk your neighbor’s dog. You take yourself to a movie that only you would enjoy. You vacuum the blinds. You bring a hot meal to an old family friend that doesn’t get out. You wash your car. You write a killer OKCupid profile. You accept the fact that life is harsh and difficult right now but that doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you. You are OK. You are human. You validate yourself.
My friends and releatives don’t talk to me. My house is spotless. Netflix makes it worse because every show reminds me that I’m alone with no friends or family involved.