Hi all,
Me and my mom are suffering from various psychological disorders like – anxiety disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), etc.
I have learnt a lot about these diseases on the internet and at least I got some idea of how to cope with these disorders.
But my mother.. she does not have any access to the internet, nor does she have any knowledge of the disorders she is suffering from, and hence she is helpless.
I know I should talk to her regarding the disorders and comfort her. But I really don’t know where to start and most importantly, I don’t know what the consequences would be.. She is suffering from these chronic disorders since a long time. She pretends to be normal from outside but I know she has a lot of trouble getting through life. I really want to help her but don’t know how. I really feel guilty because, even if I know exactly what her condition is, I am not being helpful..
Any piece of advice would be really appreciated.
4 comments
Have you seek for professional help or are you just making an educated guess from reading up on the internet? i’m asking because many times disorders have really similar symptoms, so it’s difficult to make a good guess based on those alone. Also, how you approach your mom depends completely on how she reacts to things, specially if like you say she’s been ignoring her issues for that long.
A “general” good approach (imho) would be gathering a good amount “evidence” and having an honest non confrontational talk with your mom, but even if you do that you should be mentally prepared for her to deny it, get angry about it, and react badly.
I’d really recommend you that you look for professional help tho. Maybe talking about that with your mom about your issues (not mentioning hers) might be a good idea, that way you could get a real diagnose and have something tangible to present to your mom regarding her issues. All in all… yup, your situation does sound like a pretty complicated, but not an impossible one. I do hope you find a way to improve things, and sorry if my suggestions are bad.
Hi Mf, thanks a lot for your response. It is really helpful.
Yes, i had got a professional help for myself and was diagnosed with anxiety and OCD. I have seen similar symptoms in my mom. She had also been on psychological medication for a long time. But I think she was not diagnosed correctly and was put on anti-depressants which are hardly helpful.
The thing is – my mom also has high blood pressure and is obese. So i am afraid that if i talk to her directly about her condition, it can have bad effects on her health. That’s why i said “i don’t know where to start.”
Anyway, i will start with giving the examples of other people suffering from similar disorders (which i’ve read from books) to my mom and then she will probably compare with herself.. let’s see how she takes this.
Thanks again for your help!
Have you seek for professional help or are you just making an educated guess from reading up on the internet? i’m asking because many times disorders have really similar symptoms, so it’s difficult to make a good guess based on those alone. Also, how you approach your mom depends completely on how she reacts to things, specially if like you say she’s been ignoring her issues for that long.
A “general” good approach (imho) would be gathering a good amount “evidence” and having an honest non confrontational talk with your mom, but even if you do that you should be mentally prepared for her to deny it, get angry about it, and react badly.
I’d really recommend you that you look for professional help tho. Maybe talking about that with your mom about your issues (not mentioning hers) might be a good idea, that way you could get a real diagnose and have something tangible to present to your mom regarding her issues. All in all… yup, your situation does sound like a pretty complicated, but not an impossible one. I do hope you find a way to improve things, and sorry if my suggestions are bad.
I feel like the more I read, the less I understand. The science still seems woolly to mee, educated guesses at best.
I wonder if I would have been better off never getting “treatment” and just dealing with it in a more… holistic/philosophical/emotional/romantic way.
What I can say is I know plenty of people (including myself) who have entered the system, been put on drugs and then left to their own devices, more or less. I feel like the medication f***ed me up way more than it helped. That’s my current verdict, anyway.
I know it sounds lame, but good ol’ fashioned things like confiding in close friends, love, warmth, comfort, nature, working with your hands, delving into a good story, things like that can work wonders IMO.