i have so much to be grateful for, but i’m extremely depressed.
i have a great good okay life, i have food to eat, clean water, a roof over my head, clothes to wear, and money to spend.
i am just incredibly lonely.
every time i try to reach out, i get rejected, bitten, cast aside. in private and in public.
no one ever contacts me, unless they want/need something from me. i haven’t spoken a single word to a single person since i left work on thursday night.
according to the world, i have no feelings, no emotions, and deserve not one ounce of care from anyone other than myself.
if i ask for help, i’ll get locked up in a mental ward.
if i don’t, i suffer in silence.
i am completely and utterly trapped. i can’t stay here but i can’t get out.
it comes and it goes, but lately it’s been coming faster and faster, harder and harder, heavier and heavier…
i want to die
i want to be dead
i want to be gone forever
no one likes me
no one loves me
i am completely alone
and devoid of emotion
sitting in darkness
how can death be any worse
i cannot do it anymore
i cannot live
i cannot
i
2 comments
I know what it’s like to have people contact you only when they need something or when they think you’re life is going well…things are going good for you. Please don’t feel guilty for feeling the way you do even though you have a better life than most. You are entitled to your emotions. It’s okay to want help. Don’t let others decide for you what you deserve to have in life; you deserve to be loved, to be cared for, to be appreciated. Sometimes when it seems like the whole world is against you, you kind of have to root for yourself. I’m rooting for you! And if you need a friend or someone to speak your mind to, I can be here for you. Email me at blissmexx@gmail (dot) com. Or we can text. Seriously. I’ll be your friend.
HI, Just read this. How are you doing this morning?