The regret and sadness is really hard today (and most days). Things could be so different, better- maybe not good, but better.
As it is, I may never see my ex again. She’s my best friend, despite everything that’s happened, still the best relationship I’ve ever had. I can only hope that after some time she might be willing to speak to me. It’s so painful to think that if I had just left things alone, if I hadn’t forced her to speak to me, then we might’ve actually started talking again in February.
And I still would’ve had my dog, my baby. This hurts so much. I felt less lonely with the dog, less as if my whole family (fiance and two dog-kids) was just ripped away.
But I fucked up everything. I can’t stand it.