I’m back, but I’ll be gone again soon

I’m pretty sure it was a month or 2 ago that I made a post saying that I was hopefully leaving this world and that it could very possibly be my last post. Nope. It didn’t pan out the way I would’ve wanted it to so I’m still here. Around the time I found out it wasn’t going to happen my mother took notice for once of my depression. So it was about 4 years ago that my mother moved me away from my friends and I haven’t made any since, partially due to my social anxiety but also a lack of opportunity. Anyway my mother got it into her head that my lack of friends was at the root of my depression, and I’d be lying if I said it didn’t have a part to play, it certainly isn’t at the root though but that’s a story for another time. She had me get on a bus and travel almost 10 hours to my home town to see my friends in attempt to make me happy again; It didn’t work. I spent a month there and in that time I actually lost my only friends. My mother finally came to pick me up and on the way home I very bluntly told her I wanted to kill myself and my reasons why, her initial reaction was to shrug it off. Later that week she broke down in tears and told me that I two options: seek therapy, or she would send me to a mental institution. Since I already have plans to shoot myself in the head with a shotgun this summer I couldn’t go with the second option and I’m not really one for therapy I didn’t want to go with option one either. So I took advantage of her bad memory and convinced her that I hadn’t said I was going to kill myself, only that it was something I considered but only as a last resort if I can’t put my life together. It got her off my back and now I can carry out my plan this summer, which is only possible because my hair-brained hunter brother bought a shotgun and wants me to try shooting a shotgun for the first time and because I’ve worked up the courage I needed to not be dependant on having a partner. Unlike my previous post I can rest assured that the next time I say goodbye on this site, it will be for good.