I’ve been here for a few years now, but on and off. My life’s been a rollercoaster really and I’ve been through all sorts of good and bad things. Eventually I would hit a low point, where I really would feel like there’s nothing left for me. The triggers would be different every time. Things always change and that’s so stressful.
But throughout the years, every time I’ve returned here to share my feelings or read others’ stories; this site has always been here. And it looks the same now as it did on my very first day. And there’s something special to me about that. That font, the black background; it all comes from my memories of being in this horrific dark hopeless place of despair. But if I had ever let that swarm of depression truly consume me, I wouldn’t be here right now to tell the tale.
So although I hate to state the obvious, that I’m only here because once again I’m at my limits and really want to die, I also have this restored sense of hope that maybe I will still be around long enough to leave again and come back a few more times to get to meet more people and just ponder over things I need to think about/sort out in my head.
Thank you for listening. I hope you are all safe tonight.
10 comments
I just posted about how I’ve joined every suicide forum on the web at one time or another. None of them will save me but there is something soothing about this site. Whether it’s the visual layout or the format, not the traditional phpBB board but more of a blog thing, or maybe just the vibe of the people, this is a soothing place
It’s sad that you keep coming back though.
I agree. This one caught me too…
Thanks for your words Fakeimportance! I feel at home here too!!
Me too, man. I’m glad to hear that you’ve survived for so long. I’m rooting for you. You can do this.
Same to you, i hope you’re safe tonight as well. Hopefully you’ll turn around your situation once again.
I think we are all here trying to be safe. This site does comfort, and gives us all someone to who will actually listen.
You may be at your limits, but coming here helps you. So sit back absorb take in the peace it offers.
Stay safe
I hadn’t yet thought it the way you put it, and as I comprenhend that: as a sign that you did survive and that you might as well do it again. I like that statement, in an unexpected way too.
But I agree with some of the answers, I do also find this place soothing. The way it works and the words that are spoken.
I wish you calm, hope, strength, clarity and peace tonight.
I’ve done the same thing except over a near 5 year period. Granted i took a 2 year break. Im sorry you had to come back but happy you are alive to do so.
Does it actually get better?