I’m so in love with her, it’s crazy.

There is someone in my life, who I have found myself to be in love with. I say it that way because it’s just that, one day it just hit me, hard. I have known her through my travels, on my way to work. I ride the bus. She’s everyone’s favorite. I know this because I ride a lot of busses in any given week. No other bus rides are like this. She’s such a kind, fun, kinda crazy person.  She remembers things you say to her. I can’t imagine how many people she sees in a day, but yet she remembers you aren’t looking forward to this week and later on, asks how it all went. I am not a very social person but yet, I could tell her almost anything.  I have learned a lot about her, she’s been working for the bus company 21 years, and she’s not much older than me. She lost someone close to her a while back and the past holiday season was kind of hard to get through.  I felt the sadness one day..she wasn’t her normal happy self and I so badly wanted to cheer her up, but I didn’t know what to say, or even if I  was right at guessing what had her upset. It turns out I was right.  But yeah. I hate feeling shit like that. I get such damn intense thoughts. It drives me mad. I really am my own worst enemy. But I really do love her, in a wierd way. I wish we could be friends outside of the transit realm but could never have the courage to try. Sometimes the fantasy is just safer.