I dont even know what to write here, im so lonely, i dont know where home is. Im so embarrassed about how i get when im upset. Im weird and it feels like nobdoy could possibly love me. Its 4:43am and im always awake at this time, i dread the sun coming up so badly every morning. I sleep all day and that helps but at the same time i think it’s not doing me any good. I haven’t worked in like a year. I just dont feel alive, all i crave is to be held but girls dont even like me, im not ugly so it must be me.. roughly 2 years ago my long term girlfriend left me a week before my bestest friend hung himself. Is this how he felt? I think about dying sometimes, like every night, it scares me but sometimes i cant cope. I’ve moved from town to town since trying to find hope but i just dont.. im 24 in a couple months and im nothing, i used to be so different, i was kind of popular through high school but now nobody wants to know me. I feel like i could write forever, im too embarrassed to talk to people about it because i know they’re tired of hearing it, plus they dont really care anyway. I dont have family to talk to, they gave up on me years ago. I just feel broken and lost..