You managed to wake me up at 6:00 a.m. Because you couldn’t sleep and couldn’t find pills. I was in a dead sleep which is rare for me to come by in this house. Now I can’t fall asleep again. I’m wide awake and afraid to sleep. I even got out of bed to help you find the pills. I was so drowsy that I forgot where I put them. You found them in your room after running around the house looking. I was asleep. You could have let me sleep. I even got up and put on another layer of clothes. I hate sleeping in multiple layers of clothes. It’s so uncomfortable. But the more clothes i wear the “safer” I feel. I might put on another layer hoping ill be able to fall asleep again. I can feel my obsession kicking in right now. I can feel how unsafe I am. And so the insanity begins. Layers layers layers. Sleep just fucking sleep you pansy. Kill kill kill. Hate hate hate. I’m being consumed so quickly right now even though hes not here. But he will be here soon enough. I SWARE I WILL GRAB YOUR FUCKING THROAT AND RIP OUT YOUR ASSOFOGAS WITH MY BARE HANDS. LEAVE ME ALONE! GO THE FUCK AWAY YOU VILE PIECE OF SHIT. I HATE YOU. DONT FUCKING TOUCH ME! I want to peel my fucking skin off. Im dirty, unclean. Im not pure! Im not pure! DONT TOUCH ME! I’m screaming in my head. Im trapped. The flash backs are flowing back! STOP! FUCKING STOP! STOP!
Wow..you know that you are not guilty or impure..He did this to you. You know that right?
By the way.
Can you mail me some of those pills you’ve been stashing?
You said you have 1000 anti-depressants.
300 would do the trick right?
From the mouth of Brianna.
Ryhmes with hills.
Hills have grass.
Grass has bugs in it.
One of thoes bugs being a pill bug.
It’s so cute.
With it’s little shell, tiny legs.
It curls up into a ball when it feels threatened.
To protect itself.
Here’s a pill you can take.
Be a pill bug.
Protect yourself from these thoughts in your head.
I’m not saying curl up into a ball.
Or avoid your problems.
Get up and start walking again.
Like a pill bug.”
Are you talking about the guy who raped you *when you were under 18*? Not only is rape already a huge crime, but for under 18? Double whammy. And your mom lives with a pedophile rapist?!? Who cheated on her by attacking her vulnerable teenage daughter? (I know you’re older now.)
It is not too late to come forward and file a police report against him. You should go do that, rather than ruin your own life by being violent towards him. Tell the police instead. They might discover he’s done this to other females, and prevent him from doing it again. You’d be helping serve justice for yourself and any other possible victims.
I’ve tried to get the police involved once, they dropped the case.