The only reason I ever had to live

My cats….

Let me tell their stories…
Top row:
1. Heidi – she was my grandma’s cat, which made me want to get a cat. She passed away a good long time before any of mine did.
2. Salem – my first baby. 3/1/98-11/5/11. She passed away from FIP.
-skipping ahead for a reason-
5. Gypsy – my 4th baby. 7/25/03-3/3/12. She passed away after eating a cat toy, having surgery to remove it, and then getting a blood infection. She was only 8.
Now, back on track…
3. Sierra – my 2nd baby. 5/3/02.
4. Skye – my 3rd baby. 7/25/03 (No relation to Gypsy, they were found by different people in different locations but the vet gave them the same birth date.)

Bottom row:
6. Raine – first of the feral cat population that grew around our house that I took in. 5/10/06.
7. Dusty – my little angel. 5/1/07.
8. Luna – Dusty’s birth mom, that I only caught while she was pregnant with her 2nd litter. 8/4/06.
9. Saffie (Saffron) – age unknown. Approx 12-13. She was an adult that I think someone abandoned rather than take to the vet.
10. Sam (Samhain) – 10/31/11. My only son!

Well what happened to them was I lost my home when my grandmother was about to die. I tried everything in the world to keep my babies (Sierra, Skye, Dusty, Raine, Luna, Saffie & Sam) and give them a place to live but I had NO help. I tried for a year to contact no-kill rescues and sanctuaries and got NO response. I ended up in a snowstorm, the cats were too scared to come out to eat or use the litterbox in my car, and I had no choice but to give them up. A vet office recommended someone who was supposed to be a part of a no-kill, but I later found out it wasn’t a no-kill and it was a home based operation. The exact day was 1/4/14. Then on xmas last year, my worst fears were confirmed: http://www.wtvq.com/2015/12/17/kentucky-law-enforcement-joins-national-crackdown-to-reduce-impaired-driving-fatalities-during-holiday-season/ That’s not even the whole story. She lived without running water or electricity since 2013 and officers were knee-deep in human and animal shit and couldn’t stand the smell inside her trailer. But no, no cats were found, but I still have no idea what happened to my babies. The loves of my life. And with all that’s happened since, as much as I’ve tried, I see no reason to live. My life was my cats. I’ll never have anything else. I’m too fat and ugly to be loved by a man. My cats were all I had, and they were my world. I needed them in my life. I needed to be buried with them. But I lost everything worth living for.