In my final breaths:
I’ll exhale my sins,
and the promises I broke.
I won’t inhale them back in.
I’m sorry
I used to call you papa,
and you’d guide me to school
so that I could read on the way.
You taught me to swim
by throwing me into the deep end
and I kicked and fought until I could.
You taught me to live
by throwing me into the deep end
but this time, I let myself drown.
I’m sorry,
that you see her in my eyes
that you hear her when I cry,
and for shoving you that one time,
but you told me you’d leave again
and I thought you meant it that time.
I was scared,
I’m still scared.
I wish you were here
to scream some sense into me.
I’m sorry
for not withering away
in your womb.
I’m sorry that
you couldn’t love me
when you held me.
I’m sorry for making you sicker,
for crying at night and keeping you up.
I’m sorry for not stopping you;
I should have stopped you.
I’m sorry for not fully forgiving you,
believe me, I’m trying.
I’m sorry
for the scratches I left on your back,
I wanted you to remember me
for longer than a night.
I’m sorry for loving you
and I’m sorry you love me back.
You were my the host
I was your parasite.
I’m sorry
for hurting you
and for not detaching my talons
from your flesh
sooner.
I’m sorry
that i ruined all the plans you had.
You were full of promise
and I broke each and every one.
I’m sorry you grew up to become me
you deserved better than that.
I’d take it all back if I could.
I”m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’msorry. osrry. imsor ry