Why am I never enough?

I’m not going to mention the username of the person this message is for, but they will know it’s for them and that’s what matters.

My dear friend

I scan the entries on SP expecting to see a final post from you or from someone posting that you’re gone. I no longer visit SP as often as I did because I’m scared of what I’ll see. I look to see what you’re saying in your responses to others to see how you are.

When you emailed to say you might be leaving soon, I responded that it was best I said nothing. If I say “ok, it’s your decision”, it might cone across as though I didn’t care. If I say “I don’t want you to”, I come across as selfish in asking you to stay. But of course, that’s a load of bs. I said nothing because I’m scared. I feel helpless – in the end, I can do nothing, say nothing, once you’ve decided.

So having said all that, here’s what I REALLY want to say (and may not have the courage to do again) – please don’t.

That’s it, just two words. Just two words, said by one person trying to reach you through all the other stuff going on in your life and in your head at the moment.

K