I’ve been lurking on this sight for months now: but just recently made an account. I’m not sure if I waited so long because I was nervous about posting or because I didn’t want to push my problems onto others. But anyways, I guess now is a good a time as any. A little background before I get into what I really want to talk about, my dad was a very abusive drunk and mother left us relatively young due to a substance abuse problem. I was always looking for a way out, a way to find some normalcy in my life. Eventually I found it, it was oddly enough in a girl. I was young, maybe 14 (currently 18) but she changed my perspective on the world. She gave me this infinite desire to live; took me away from all the thoughts of suicide and depression. She was a truly amazing person. We dated for a long time. But one day, something happened to change this fun loving, bubbly girl with the long bangs and deep blue eyes.. One night changed her forever, she cut her bangs short, her eyes became empty, laugh no longer sincere. Her father molested her . I couldn’t give her the healing she gave me. I failed her. Then I lost her. But recently, after a couple years, we reconnected. We had talked a few times over that time span, but not like we have over the past couple weeks. I worry, I never quite got over her. I don’t want to lose her all over again. I don’t think I’d be able to take that mentally. But I also can’t just let the chance slip through my finger tips.. Sorry for spelling or grammar errors, it’s late and in not motivated enough to read this over.