I want it to be over..

I’m a 24 year old guy and I’ve been in so much pain emotional for about a year. I’m financially struggling and in debt. I’m going to be starting college just now at 24. I have no job. I am also ashamed of my body because I have small wrists and only 5’4 tall. I moved out of my apartment and live in the basement of my aunt and uncle’s place. I don’t hang out with any friends and don’t talk to them much anymore. I feel like such a loser! The girl I care about has changed so much within 2 and half months. We used to talk on the phone, text and Snapchat but now she found some other guy and won’t even talk to me as a friend. I have shared so much with her and she used to talk about her problem before but now she doesn’t want to even talk about her problems with me. I opened up my heart to her and she crushed it and she doesn’t even realize it. She has known this guy for about 2 weeks and she is treating him so much better then she ever has with me. Now when it comes to my personality I’m a gentlemen and always put others before myself. I can’t stop thinking about her even though she keeps treating me so badly. When I have enough money I plan on buying a tire inflation kit with the tank that has pure-******** and going to buy a simple oxygen mask so i can breathe the pure ********, lose consciousness and die.