My story I guess.

Hey everyone,

My story might not be important to most,but I’m writing this because I wanted to.I’ve been diagnosed with Bipolar 2 disorder & Social Anxiety disorder for about 5 years now.Been hospitalized 2 times for suicidal ideation ,but as you can tell those weren’t really effective in helping me.Nearing Graduation now,I’m not really excited looking forward my future & such.I actually see my death kinda relatively close now that I think about it.Either it’s the nihilistic apathy that is slowly killing me or the reality check that is the real world.

For me,I’m naturally a cynical,misanthropic,and pessimistic person.That itself does contradict with my personality type which is ISFJ ironically.Ultimately I feel that my life is an inconvenience to my family & friends often pushing many who care deeply for my existence.I mean who wants to deal with that hassle of a person,always bringing you down.I just don’t understand why they’re so persistent in trying to save me.Death always happens,what makes it so different?

I know without a doubt that I’m going to die by my own hands,but I’m alright with that actually.I’ve always been accepting of death,it’s something we really can’t do much about it.Once it comes,it takes everything away.My thoughts,memories, emotions,& this shattered heart…gone.

*I was a bit tired writing this,so I didn’t put everything I wanted on here.It won’t matter though*