To him

I always want to remember how we would walk down that trail to look at the river and how we left school a couple times just to go there. I want to remember how one time you took me to the little store by your house through the woods, and how you would cancel plans just to be with me. I want to remember when we were laying under the blankets on your bed (which we would do often) and we would just lay there in each others arms under the blankets. I want to remember how you smell, how you had that certain cologne that I loved when we got together, and how sometimes you smelled like cigarettes and cologne. I want to remember how we always sat together at lunch and how we would run through the store in the morning so I could get fruit and we barely made it to school every time. I want to remember the mornings we just slept in my car because we didn’t make it to class on time and we didn’t want to get in trouble. I want to remember how I spent my first night with you, when I “went to Maddy’s”. I never want to forget how nervous you used to get when we had sex and how you always stop to see if I’m okay. You never let me forget that you love me. I was the one that ignored you and that’s why I thought you didn’t love me. I know that you love me, I was just being dumb. I will never forget how we always fight but get over it quickly. I always get over it because I can’t go without you. Throughout the time that we’ve been together you’ve been my therapy and you’ve helped me be a better me, I know I haven’t done much for you. I know I could’ve done better. I know how many times I said I would try and I never changed. I know that you don’t believe me when I say that I love you. I’m sorry that I don’t know how to show that I love you. I do know that you are all I’ve ever wanted and I don’t ever want to be without you. I love when I catch you looking at me, it makes me feel cared for. I love how you hold me, I love how you love me, and I love how you look at me, I don’t think I’d ever find anyone else that would look at me like they love me, the way that you do. I love you.