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Failure

by AshCoveredAngel

Struggling these past few days and it’s hurting those around me.

Especially my child. I made them cry twice today. I’m so messed up right now I told my 2 year old to shut up.

Why? They were hungry while I was trying to angrily call the state about my insurance that’s going to be cancelled next month.

No insurance when I’m 8 months pregnant. Awesome. Worse case scenario I’ll stop all prenatal and deliver at home completely unassisted medically. I can’t afford the bill. It’s whatever. I’m not even worried about birth.

The thing I should be worried about is postpartum depression. I’m currently in therapy and seeing a psychiatrist but I’m not totally honest with them because I already lost said 2 year old due to my mental illness. Obviously today I proved I should’ve.

I’m such a failure as a mom. Even if I brought my kid back I’m still a piece and I’m bringing another kid into this world. Idk what I was thinking. It’s a strong possibility I’ll celebrate my last birthday this year. I can’t keep hurting everyone because I’m in pain.

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mysteriousvisitor 7/5/2016 - 11:06 pm

They took your child away over mental illness, putting you in a position where you cannot be honest, and now they might cancel the insurance that covers treatment? Doesn’t sound like the failure is on your end.

I know you feel bad for yelling, but I assure you that countless millions of frustrated parents have yelled “shut up” and the kids were fine. The fact that you care about it shows that you’re not a bad parent.

shatterediris 7/6/2016 - 2:48 am

Yeah I’ve heard all of the parents I know yelling much worse at their young children…. “Shut up” isn’t horrible…. Children get annoying it’s hard not to yell at them…. -_- I hope that you at least don’t lose your insurance….

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