why is school so hard? I’m not meaning academically but the people, I can’t help but feel judged and people look at me and laugh and it doesn’t help that I hate my body but today was awful. In Spanish I sit by two socialites and they always try to talk to me in a nose way and today they kept looking at me and laughing. Every time I did I only tried to hide my face and go away. It’s so hard to ignore these people and no one seems to get it my friends don’t help or anything and I just feel like I’m not needed and I can’t talk to anyone because I don’t want to bother them because they look at m and I wish to disappear. I just wish I could leave these people are mean and rude and I don’t like them. I’m not a jock I’m not skinny and I don’t wear make-up because I always feel worse with it on like I made some mistake while I was wearing it. I really am just tired of it all I want to leave and disappear and I just can’t stand the thought of living anymore. I want to talk to someone but they don’t understand or they don’t help at all.
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3 comments
Yeah, school can be tough. I mean, social situations in general can be tough. I got bullied a lot between like, grade 7 and 10.
You should try not to care about what other people might think of you. Try to find stuff that you’re interested in and then dedicate yourself to that. I mean, If you’re interested in music or drawing or something, then get your hands on an instrument or a piece of paper and just practice ’til you’re a pro. The more stuff that you’re good at the more confident you’ll feel.
I guess that in short, my advice would be: be kind, be yourself, and strive to improve yourself with each passing day… Sorry if my advice is totally useless haha… =]
After reading your post… perhaps the first sentence should be structured as “why does high school culture suck?”
I don’t know you or those people but it sounds like they aren’t taking the hint that you don’t want to talk to them, nor do you like them. I don’t know how they are actually talking and laughing and what their intentions are, but I do know that you are feeling ostracised and unhappy.
Trust me, you don’t have to a be a jock, skinny or wear makeup. These things are all on the outside and they do nothing for who you truly are inside.
Does your school have a counselor? Most schools should provide counselling service to students.
Because you are locked in a struggle between what you want to be and what your peers want you to be. On top of that you have very little experience negotiating with your peers and being able to articulate your wants.
Yes, it’s a clusterfuck, at least everyone goes through some of it.