On Sunday I will be flying to the United States to attend my partners funeral. We were in a long distance relationship and I hadn’t seen him in over a year, due to financial reasons. We talked everyday, until it happened.
Our love was like no other and anyone who has read my previous posts will know how much I loved him with all my heart and still do.
I have been having sleepless nights and hardly been eating anything at all, frequent anxiety attacks hit me when I think about making the long flight from Australia to USA. I know anxiety will hit me ten times harder the moment I step on USA soil.
I am writing this to plead to SP posters for support. I will be staying in his room while I’m in the US and he died in his room; its my last chance to feel close to him, on this earth.
My family do not fully understand what I am going through and I was hoping to have a few comment of support that I can refer back to when I feel at my weakest.
Please… before the anxiety kicks in.
8 comments
My thoughts will be with you. I have not lost a partner to death in that way. My father did take his life in his room. I was the one who found him. Reported it. And cleaned it all up after they removed his body as well. I am currently staying in that house. I do not use that room as mine. The setting of the furniture is the same in there though. Sometimes……I can have troubling remembering him as I would like to. Though when in that room….I can’t explain it, but it is just easier to remember him. And not just finding him there, but remember him from good times as well. It can be overwhelming though as well…..if you do start to feel overwhelmed from being in that room, don’t try to fight it and stay there. Go for walk outside, or get out and grab a bite to eat and then try going back in later.
Thank you so much for the support and advice, I will take it and cherish it. I really needed it.
Sending you loads of love right now!
I have been through a somewhat similar situation. I had to fly to australia to get my cousin and bring him back to NZ after he hung himself.
The emotions your feeling right now must be horrendous.
I can’t even say much or offer you support. My eyes are welling up at the thought all over again. The plane ride was the worst part. That feeling that there Gone forever. It’s been 4years now I got through it somehow I guess you can say time does heal everything. You realize the pain never existed only in your head and through lack of knowledge. Just let him go in peace. Go to the place he deid and talk to him howl scream cry your soul out to him. Tell him everything, only thing to help to let go of those emotions so you can find peace with yourself and his departure from your physical world.
I am so sorry you had to go through that, it must have been one of the hardest things you have ever had to do. I know you are a much stronger person for doing it and getting through it. I will talk to him while I am there. I know he will be there with me. Thank you for the support.
My deepest sympathies for you right now lilxtina, I cannot even begin to imagine the awful pain you’re going through and how difficult this process is.
You should be proud of yourself to be going through with this, it would be hard enough to stay in his room at all, let alone that being where he died. That takes serious strength, and only speaks to how much you must have loved him. That is what you hold onto. That is what makes it worth the suffering you must be going through.
I hope you have a safe flight there, and that the service is as nice as one can ever be. I wish there was something helpful I could say… Just know that people are here to listen and support you if you need it.
Take care <3
Thank you for noticing my love for him and providing your support, I talk to him everyday, about what I am thinking and about how I am feeling and also I ask him what he is up to (of course no reply) but I feel like he is probably going through a tough time as well and I want to support him through that. He is my one and only, there will never be another him. thank you again for your support and I know with the love you have given me, I will make it through this next week.
A rough road ahead of you, undoubtedly. Here’s a wish for enough strength and courage to get through.
Thank you for your ongoing support Chip, it means something to me that you have taken the time again to leave your support. I really appreciate it.