As I was sitting with my mom telling her that I felt suicidal she told me that like was a privilege..
I cant help but to agree. We only have this one unique opportunity to be this one unique individual that will never BE again.
I wish I could stay.. but my mind is not healthy. Its so unfair that one cannot see the pain or damage of a person mentally.
I’ve nearly lost my mind several times and it has left me damaged. I can barely hang on most days as I feel myself slipping or on edge.
I’ve been nearing the end and I’ll admit i get a bit scared to die. Scared of the nothingness incase there is nothingness. When i was 17 i had an NDE and i did go to a place…. but I just get scared suddenly because this time the death would be by my own hand.
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Yeah, it’s a real privilege. and a unique opportunity. (said with a bit of sarcasm, sorry). Yeah, we might be unique but how many people have lived throughout history, there’s a billion plus people in China right now. We’re just a grain of sand on the beach even if we think we are unique. We might have our own personalities and experiences, but it doesn’t make it special.