I feel like I’m dying inside but at the same time I feel absolutely nothing. I try to continue on and some days I think that I am actually making progress until I am absolutely blindsided and am back to where I started. I usually never dream but recently have been having nightmares that leave me petrified, I couldn’t even get out of bed today because I was so terrified. I don’t know what to do anymore, I feel like I’m all alone and I just want someone to help me. I have tried to reach out to professionals before but they were a complete waste of time (one wouldn’t even let me speak before trying to shove meds down my throat, another said that my father never abused me because there was no police report, and it just gets worse from there). I feel like a complete coward for not being able to just kill myself. Its what I want, to just be dead so that I won’t be hurt any more. When will this all end? I need to tell my story. Somebody listen. Somebody help me. Please…
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Feel free to email me. treygo47 at gmail dot com
If you feel like you need to tell your story you should post it. I don’t know if there is anything any of us can do for you, but it might help you to talk about it.
I have tried but I don’t even know where to start anymore, so many events have occurred over several years that it all becomes one jumbled up mess.
Yea i can understand that. Its hard when there is so much to tell and it is over such a long time frame. Especially if a lot of it was childhood trauma that you don’t remember completely with the passage of time. Maybe just tell it in parts or something.