God hates,
That’s why he no longer creates.
I who walk in the shadow of death,
I who ask only be set free from my pain,
I who hath nothing left to gain,
I who have greeted the reaper,
I who has gone deeper.
I who asked god “O lord release me”.
I who had to see.
God hates that witch destroyed his garden,
God who’s heart has hardened.
For fate has hold of me,
Showing for all to see.
Tho my scars be shown,
the understanding of my pain….. unknown…
I’ve ended me seven times.
Yet God makes me pay for my crimes…
Heven nor Hell wants for I,
And all I ask is that I die.
I ask god “Erase me… unmake me…”
Yet he lets me suffer.
My scars are like a light for all to see.
I slice with all the strength I can muster.
If the notice they never say…
oh how I wait for that day….
the day I can stay
forever
away
…
RIP
KING REAPER
2 comments
If there were a god, I’d be angry with him for being so completely inept at his job.
KingReaper1,
I’m so sorry that you’re going through this, it sounds very painful. Did you once have a close relationship with God or Jesus? It sounds like you might have and then something happened that shattered the trust you once had. I was there. I trusted God, and then after a terrible illness when I was younger, I was angry. Why would God allow people to suffer? Why wouldn’t he end their pain? It took a while, but I was able to see that God was not only with me every step of the way, but that He was helping me to grow. I was able to learn about my strengths, even though I felt so weak. Sometimes, in our suffering, we learn to make real meaning about ourselves and our lives. We can learn and grow from our suffering. I am in NO WAY pushing religion on you, I’m just giving you a glimpse into my experience. I used to lay in bed at night crying. I used to feel hopeless and I thought about ending it. I was so mad at God. I had trusted Him and he was letting me down. I’ve grown so much since then and now I have so much to be thankful for. Your life has so much value and meaning. Please reach out to me, I’d love to talk with you!