I know fat has its virtues, it is basically stored chemical energy. I’m losing weight very fast. Again. Lost about 4 pounds in the last couple of weeks. I’m almost underweight. Part of me worries the other part wants to lose more and more. How is it I only see myself as fat when I can’t eat in reasonable quantities and I m slowly turning myself into a skeleton? I don’t like that, I love food but somehow I don’t feel hungry anymore and I can’t eat because it makes me nauseous. I just hope I m going to be able to eat enough again because sadly it won’t kill me just put me in a loony bin.
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I’m sorry
Haha you won’t like the loony bin, then you’ll REALLY want to kill yourself and you’ll probably act on it. It’s proven. Just as well.
Yep I was locked up there once… Lucky me I was still a minor so it only was half Hell but still I learned to be treated as less as a human and brainwashed into thinking I was unable to have rational thoughts and I had to be told what to think. And if I disagreed on the slightest thing even in a very calm and polite way they will force me to take meds. These places are far worse than death. In fact they are making me considering suicide more and more.
If the trauma isn’t a death sentence then the side effects of the meds that don’t go away even after stopped for years, definitely is. I’m always like “Calm down. It doesn’t matter that you are no longer you. You were going to commit before anyhow and you can still commit after.”