What a nice and lovely subject to debate on (I know my sarcasm is the worst). As I was a blonde d, cute and already broken little girl, I had the chance to be some 40 years old dude ‘s treat. Never really liked the all “Me too” movement because I can’t really post about it, or at least I long felt like I shouldn’t. But I always wanted to know people that know what it is like, so here I am. Were you sexually abused as a child? If so, do you suffer from a mental disease related to it?
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Difficult to say, a babysitter did something to me when I was 5, I don’t remember it. Did it lead to my current mental problems? IDK. I think my dad’s physical and mental abuse contributions were way more to blame than that thing I can’t remember, if im tryin to find blame, but who knows. Think the bigger issue was I have a pretty high IQ, had a post grad vocabulary (and a learning disorder similar to dyslexia) in grade school. I learned everything was fuckt at too young an age. Oppositional defiance disorder, became childhood depression, became chronic depression, became existential depression… all before 14.
I planned my suicide at 12, ha.
I tried to hang myself when I was 8.
I could never hang or cut, I’m scared of pain and broken neck, but mostly I fear a failed attempt and want something that will actually work.
I also lived through a lot. My dad died when I was 3, my mom was depressed after his death and my brother was a baby so she had very little to take care of me. So she met this guy who did things to me. The most obsessing part is I remember how it began and how it ended but there is a gap between the two and so my brain is trying to fill it with something but it imagines really horrid scenarios. I never told anyone as a child. When I was nine my mom married a narcissist, who spent the rest of my childhood telling me I was crazy, selfish and useless… . So yeah I don’t think being raped is the only reason I am so fucked up but I wonder I often really feel guilty ashamed for no reason, I hate my body because it feels like it is dirty and rotting inside, I hate dressing sexy because I’m afraid, because I believe people will see me as a slut.
Sorry this was meant to be an answer for counting down but I wrote it here so it doesn’t make much sense.
I can’t feel love. That or no one loves me.
My parents fucked me up too but not as bad as your story.
Your strong!
Go dress sexy. Don’t be afraid of their thoughts especially when they have NO CLUE!
P.s. I know it’s not so easy but you deserve to feel sexy.
I’ve been rather sexually assaulted quite a bit the last 3 years. I don’t think I’ve gone a month out of those 3 years without being sexually assaulted once or twice. It’s already been 3 times in the last 2 weeks.
*Blonde
My friend was sexually abused by someone they loved and trusted. My friend is in a psych ward right now. How can people be so sex obsessed? How can they hurt other people and not feel guilty?
It is easy. They just don’t see us as people. Just objects to have fun with. So they don’t apologize, never feel guilty. We’re not human, why should they? Basically in my case, he is the textbook definition of a psychopath : a pathological liar whose aim is to seduce and attract people in his little spider web, play people against each other to abuse and destroy them. He turned me against my mom, told me I was a princess, the reason he stayed, that he would always be there for me as opposed to my mom who doesn’t love me. I was a bitter and lonely 6 years old whose father died and whose mother had very little time and energy for me so it worked. He told me he would never hurt me again if I kept my mouth shut. One day my mom realised she was being lied to and that he was spending her money so she kicked him out. She received suicide threats and then death threats. It only stopped when she told him next call she would call the police. So yeah, monsters are common, your friend met one and I can only feel very sorry for her (him)
About 10% of the population displays psychotic tendencies, the lying used car salesman, telemarketers, cops n criminals, but people often mistake what a psychopath is, fewer than 1% are the true power obsessed killer types, most just have a lower sense of guilt, shame, and fear than what is typical. They are huge risk takers, and generally society needs them to keep functionality. The down side is stories like this, and yes many do end up in prison.
I got a chemical dependancy counseling license, I did it mainly because I wanted to understand why people continually things that they know they shouldent do. The sad truth is there is no answer. Everything we do is to avoid pain or gain pleasure and we have a lot of really fucked up ways that we do those things, and very little really convinces us we’re wrong when we got our minds set on what we think we want.
Only good people are destroyed by guilt.
Yeah. It gave me a personality/mood disorder/ptsd. I understand why it’s s difficult to use the me too movement but some people have found it useful to open up about incidents. Not me though, either. I just feel like there’s a lot of people out there with predatory mindsets, or they dismiss the need to address their damaging/perverse actions. One guy said to me “I am driven by my weaknesses.” In that moment I understood, most paedophiles are driven by an intense feeling of powerlessness…They obviously lost their ability to feel empathy or shame, but I think… I hate to say… a lot of people/men lean towards sexual attraction to young people, it’s so fucked up. I will tell a story I read about that happened in American recently but this honestly is a massive Trigger Warning thing so stop reading if you feel easily upset!.
Basically some white guy/like 18 maybe had filmed or photographed himself sexually assaulting a young girl, she was maybe 1 years old. This girl was black so obviously the law went lightly on him… apparently even the parents were siding with him and I can’t fet my head around why! Theory is perhaps the parents didn’t want to identify with the abused party, but would rather defend the abuser… I don’t know. There are good people out there, definitely decent people but… don’t be afraid to tell your truth and you’ll learn who is good and who is bad. Even on just how they react to your stories. People have ignored me(my own mum btw), blamed me/said that I must have wanted it, made it about themselves, ermm… list goes on. What you want is the people who listen and believe you, who understand how much it damages to be abused in any way. Watch out for attracting abusive people in the future too, the damage is sometimes that extensive. Intuition is key!
And counting downs comment on people’s reduced empathy is true except… a true psychopath in the present day is very rarely a killer. Infact they contribute to society and are seen as pillars of companies/communities(religious or otherwise)/charities/cults ect. Every psychopath is a narcissist but not every narcissist is a psychopath, and they say you’ll meet 60 psychopaths in your life but atleast 1 in 5 of people are overly narcissistic, diagnosed with npd. psychopath and narcissist will not engage with diagnoses unless they end up in prison or something. I’m convinced if a narcissist wanted they would be unable to see the child as more than an extension of the narcissists ego, and a psychopath would not suffer any shame or guilt following the incident at all.