Emotions suck

  April 14th, 2019 by mina711

I’ve been looking for ways to numb myself. I get absolutely nowhere. It’s not fair, I just wanna be numb. I don’t wanna make an effort to even feel better anymore. I just wanna stop feeling emotion.

I hate being brokenhearted over my ex. I hate being stressed about going off to college. I hate that painful lump in my throat I get from crying. I hate the cold sweat I break into when I’m anxious. I hate the fire that burns in my heart. I want to be dormant and freeze my heart up for good.

I want to die, but I fear the afterlife. My best bet is to stop feeling anything altogether.

Today is the day I’m going to stop feeling. After submitting this entry, I am going to wipe my eyes, stiffen my lips, and turn off the sad music. My emotions are going to die today, not me.

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