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Hi, I’m blue

by blue.

Hi guys, I finished ‘My heart and other black holes’ a few minutes ago. I was reading it second time. Why? Because I feel so bad. I know that I have a lot of mental health problems… yeah… who haven’t here… but sometimes is worse. You know this time in your life (day, week, month) when you feel worse. Worse than normal. I don’t know what I want to say in this post. Maybe I need some space to write about my feelings. I study abroad in London from September. That was my dream, this is my dream. I had been thinking about it since primary school and now I am here. I should be happy propably, yeah… but I am not, not at all (and sorry my English sometimes sucks but I try my best okay xD). I am on good Uni, I have friends (here not many but I have not problem with meeting new people and I have a lot of friends from my country so we can write on Messenger all the time), I like my body/face/apparence, I have a lot of plans for my future- I know what I want to be. So why I am not satisfied? Why I feel so blue? I cry and think about comitte suicide a lot. But I don’t wanna die. Because if I die I won’t be able to realize my plans. I’ll never be satisfied.

blue.

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ultraviolet 1/13/2020 - 5:55 pm

Hi Blue, I’m Violet. Personally I love this book very much. It’s relatable on many levels. It’s actually my second favorite book. If you liked my heart and other black holes I suggest reading All The Bright Places by Jennifer Niven. Sending love and hugs, also, it’s okay to feel blue, blue.

blue. 1/18/2020 - 9:22 pm

hi Violet ^^ I hear about this book earlier, I will try to find it- maybe in library. I hope that they have it. I hope that u feel good (or better than usually <3), hugs blue.

ultraviolet 1/20/2020 - 6:14 am

Crossing my fingers that they have it! It’s a must read. You’ll love it. Thanks, I actually feel worse than usual. But that’s what comes along with severe depression. Episodes of deep sadness that come from nowhere. Reading always helps. Or creating art! I hope you have been feeling better also. It’s a sad world and we need more lovely things in it.

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