My past is full of horrible memories. I am mentally disabled and many people took advantage of that. Many people did absolutely horrible things to me, such as sexual abuse and bullying and got away with it. I wasn’t even aware what was being done to me. Now I am older and understand how things work, I just can’t let go of the things that happened to me. I deeply hate the people who did this to me. There is no way get back at them and that’s why I have cptsd. I am in deep emotional pain and stress.
This stress is fucking up my heart. My heart is about to give up, I am living with a resting heart rate of 100 bpm for 1 year. Doesn’t matter if I kill myself or stay alive, I am gonna die anyway because of my heart. I really wish the concept of God or Karma was true, but it isn’t. I just can’t believe these people will live their lives without any consequences. I wish I was never born.