Home Chronic Pain I want to gather people here, to Discuss : Suicide BECAUSE they’re being a Burden
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I want to gather people here, to Discuss : Suicide BECAUSE they’re being a Burden

by Azzam

I want to make this thread, to gather people like me, who probably considering suicide because “i’m being a burden to others”. Other people that want to talk about the topic but don’t actually have that personal experience are also welcome.

For me? I felt that i have been a huge burden for my family, I’m the first kid in my family (male), i have a little sister in highschool, i’m still in college, but i have somewhat realized that i’m incompetent at times, can’t make any money, and just generally being a burden and a nuisance for my parent. I’m not “The Perfect Kid” That’s successfull, well liked, etc. My parents are at times somewhat dissapointed with me.

There are also special circumstances, family problems. My father is cheating with another woman. My mother sometime get sick (she have a special illness) and constantly crying and being mad at my father. The “Economy Gap” Between my father’s family and my mother’s is quite huge. My mother’s family is a bit poor, while my father’s family is quite rich, but even so, my father’s family are unwilling to help my mother’s family (they rarely do) and they also rarely met each other. My family’s economy is so-so, but even then, i still feel that i’m ultimately being a burden.

I have considered hanging, using a “drop table” And a “spesific knot” To make the hanging as quick as possible (following the community rule, i won’t elaborate further on the techniques). I also considering leaving a letter, a “sorry” and an explanation : That i’m doing this so that my family don’t have to suffer by having me. That they’ll be better off without me.

Well, that’s my story, i hope there’ll be other people here that willing to share their stories, thanks for reading these long paragraphs.

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3 comments

system 2/23/2021 - 1:46 pm

someone finally gets it oh my god. I want to die to free my family from me.

heartlessviking 2/23/2021 - 6:40 pm

Mine is much more philosophic; I am unnecessary, all evidence points to that, yet significant amount of tax dollars and my families money is spent for me to go to school, and get a job in which I am not allowed to help people (much.)

I believe humans are more important than things. Yet, that’s a minority view. No one wants to fund my efforts to fix things, thus my reason for being is utterly pointless. I got a five year degree, have more debt than I can ever pay off, and I can’t even break even on my bills even working full time.

I’m coming to realize that every day I draw breath I am enabling the abusive actions of others. My helping others survive is one of the worst things I can do, given what I know about how disposable human life actually IS. Death is up, an improvement on living among such horrible excuses for human beings. It’s a lose/lose, live and be miserable, die and make others miserable, either way you’re making others miserable.

But I get up, put on an act like I think that maybe I can save someone. I keep trying to help people avoid being exploited, but there is so little will in the species that I suspect that is futile as well.

darkwillow 2/23/2021 - 9:27 pm

I think we humans think too much. And although some invent electricity with those thoughts, others goes down a pessimistic rabbit hole that gets deeper and darker.

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