I started self harming again. I hadnt done it in 14yrs. But i bought some chemicals and burned my arms like the good ol days. Im already regretting this choice because its all i think about now. My mind wants me to destroy my physical being as a punishment of all the hard ships i endured for so many years. Asking for help has been a bust. Not even human services wanted to help me because i seem too “calm” to be crazy apparently. Sure all these orginizations are against suicidal people and cutters, but when someone actually steps forward requiring their services, they act like they dont know what to do. Like dude just quit while youre ahead. Im done askin for help. I have a doctors appt tomorrow. Im sure shes gonna trip out about my 2nd deg burns.