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Daily Life Of A Ghost

by Virus.Found

When I was in the russian supermarket today, the happy disco music which my mother said, was from her youth, didn’t sound so happy to me. Frankly I wasn’t hearing it at all. I was spaced out. I couldn’t believe I was so deeply unhappy with my life and for how unkind people had been all my life towards me. I didn’t even know what I wanted. Cookies, coffee, cinnamon.? I want nothing. I just want these thoughts to stop.

For every friend talking to their important friends or posting something on instagram instead of talking to me. I’m just f*cking done. I was a long time ago but yeah.. can’t even trust your best friends now. Or some stranger’s who put their condescending sh*t on you, just because they’re unhappy about something themselves.

What the hell man, can’t even go grocery shopping without wanting to die. They should honestly just crash into me with their carts, seeing as I’m so painfully invisible to everyone else. Yesterday I had an appointment and I was forgotten. They didn’t tell me anything and put the blame on me too.! Humans are nasty.

I haven’t posted on here in a while, because of three people I’m trying to avoid, that I got in touch with out of SP. In case you read this: Sorry to you two, but the third person I’m not sorry for, considering they haven’t even apologized for ghosting me. So yeah, this is that. I really need something else than the pain on my mind.


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Abnormal.Thoughts 3/13/2021 - 8:55 am

I’m glad your back. I know you probably won’t believe me but I was thinking about making a post just about 4 days ago to see of you were still around.
Anyways, don’t feel obligated to say anything, and you definitely don’t have to apologize.

Virus.Found 3/13/2021 - 11:14 pm

I was hoping you’d write me, thank you so much for still thinking of me, I appreciate it! 🙂 I’ll come back to discord. Maybe not today or tomorrow but I usually mean my words. I’ve been struggling badly lately and I didn’t even feel like writing anything on here. It’s the same old.. Thank you mate.~ Hope you’re okay(-ish)

Abnormal.Thoughts 3/14/2021 - 12:46 am

Well, when you do get back on you know where to find me, and of you don’t you can always just ask.
If you need to vent there will be no judgement.
Yeah, pretty much the same old stuff here too. I’m sorry your feeling down though.

Virus.Found 3/14/2021 - 8:05 am

Yeah of course.! I hope I can figure out my account again, should be still there I imagine.? Along with our chats.?
Thank you, I think I might actually vent a shit-load haha.
Oh, so nothing ever changes, huh.? It’s alright, I’m still here afterall..

stupidbitch 3/13/2021 - 10:45 am

I’m extremely fucked up. I’m extremely sensitive, and I take things the wrong way. I truly am a stupid *****. You definitely aren’t a virus! Please know I genuinely am so very sorry for deleting my IMVU account out of the blue. I wouldn’t have done that if I knew you still wanted to talk to me. I figured you didn’t really want to talk to me after that time I tried helping you. This was all a total misinterpretation on my part, and I genuinely am so very sorry I hurt you. I never wanted to be one of the many people who did you wrong. I only ever wanted to help you. I hate that I’m one of the reasons you haven’t been posting here. You deserve to have a place where you can vent. I genuinely am so very sorry I took that away from you. Please just forget me. I’m not important. I still mean everything I said to you on IMVU. I truly am so very happy/relieved that you’re still around. I was hoping the reason you haven’t posted on here for a while is because you were doing better. I’m so very sorry that’s not the case. You absolutely deserve to be doing better! Again, I genuinely am so very sorry for ghosting you.

Virus.Found 3/13/2021 - 11:10 pm

I don’t even know what to say… I’m not a person, who wants to see something bad in a person but there was literally not one reason in our talks that could have made you do that. We were just talking like normal people with interests and then the next message I wrote was about me worrying about your post on here and trying to help you. So yeah, I don’t understand whatsoever. And at this point in my life I know to look through someone better. You seem not genuine about your motives, hiding behind these self-manufactured sentences, which you repeat over and over like a machine. I don’t know why you are that way, I’m sure there’s a great deal of pain behind that but I was extremely hurt. So yes, count yourself to the people who have really let me down. I told you personal things because I thought you would mean your words. There was definitely a naivety in my part, for thinking someone from this page could be a real friend with similar struggles- that was my fault only. I don’t care about you anymore, there’s nothing left inside of me. And no, I’m not doing better at all. I just started loathing everyone and am not approaching anyone new. That’s the person I am now apparently. So save your apology for someone who believes them.

stupidbitch 3/13/2021 - 11:36 pm

I’m sorry. I really, really am. I know you hate me, and I totally don’t blame you for that! I hate myself so f*cking much. I’m just so very, very sorry. I know I sound like a machine repeating the same stuff, but I really do mean what I say. I feel like such sh*t about this. I’ve been crying ever since I read your reply. I had to sign in to reply to your reply. I’m seriously the worst. I know. I’m officially done posting on here. I’m hiding like the coward I am. Nobody gives a f*ck about me, anyway. I’m sorry I wasted your care for me. I never meant to do this all to you. I’m sorry. Please continue posting on here. I’m done posting on here, anyway. You won’t ever have to deal with me again. I really do hope things will get better for you. I hope you’ll never have to deal with somebody as terrible as me again. All the best.

Virus.Found 3/14/2021 - 8:02 am

Hate.? No. I don’t care about you anymore, frankly about no one really, except the friends who really stick by my side. People don’t give you shit in this life, even the ones who seem like they are kind souls at first. Don’t cry, don’t even apologize, other than maybe to yourself. It’s alright, people are like this nowadays. You just have to decide on what side you want to be on. At least there’s people who are rude and uninterested from the start, then you can’t even be surprised, if they screw you over. If you really didn’t mean to do this, then you wouldn’t have, it’s quite simple. If not having done right by me, do so for the next person, yeah.? And don’t worry, I’m currently not interested in posting here, so you go ahead. I mean it. Maybe you need it more than me afterall. It’s just a shame it didn’t work out, take care.

Idfk anymore, I'm just here I guess 3/14/2021 - 4:03 am

Hey virus, you can talk to me if you want. I’m in the process of moving into a cheaper place, but also thinking about getting my hands on some medication that might help me “go through” with it, if I actually decide to follow through with a method. Things aren’t getting better, I think my attitude has changed positively but unfortunately from a practical standpoint I just don’t know what else I can do at this point. Anyways I’ll hit you up on discord just to let you know I’ve seen this.

Virus.Found 3/14/2021 - 8:11 am

For a second I thought you meant medication to make you feel better D: Damn man… I hope I can catch you before going through with it, I would feel bad forever. At least you moved, so some scene-change happened. Well, you did say you’re an optimist. Sometimes we do everything and still have nothing change. I don’t know how to continue on with a mind like this either. I don’t have the app yet, but I will soon. I’ll write you 🙂

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