When I was in the russian supermarket today, the happy disco music which my mother said, was from her youth, didn’t sound so happy to me. Frankly I wasn’t hearing it at all. I was spaced out. I couldn’t believe I was so deeply unhappy with my life and for how unkind people had been all my life towards me. I didn’t even know what I wanted. Cookies, coffee, cinnamon.? I want nothing. I just want these thoughts to stop.
For every friend talking to their important friends or posting something on instagram instead of talking to me. I’m just f*cking done. I was a long time ago but yeah.. can’t even trust your best friends now. Or some stranger’s who put their condescending sh*t on you, just because they’re unhappy about something themselves.
What the hell man, can’t even go grocery shopping without wanting to die. They should honestly just crash into me with their carts, seeing as I’m so painfully invisible to everyone else. Yesterday I had an appointment and I was forgotten. They didn’t tell me anything and put the blame on me too.! Humans are nasty.
I haven’t posted on here in a while, because of three people I’m trying to avoid, that I got in touch with out of SP. In case you read this: Sorry to you two, but the third person I’m not sorry for, considering they haven’t even apologized for ghosting me. So yeah, this is that. I really need something else than the pain on my mind.