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my fault

by system

my fa ult myfault my fault myfaultmyfaultmyfault my fa ult myfault my fault my fault my faultmy fault myfaultmyfaultmyfaultmyfaultmyfaultmyfault

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46 comments

just_a_person 3/10/2021 - 8:35 pm

NO! It’s not your fault and it will never be your fault! I don’t know why someone would ever say something like this to you but it’s his fault for being a fucking psycho and doing these horrible things to you. You didn’t deserve this at all.

system 3/10/2021 - 8:42 pm

thankyou fortjhe reassurance
imsorry if my typingis erratic im just really shaky

umber 3/10/2021 - 9:22 pm

System – please take this as FRIENDLY advice, I think you should take a short break from this site because a lot of comments seem to be triggering you. Even though the person could have worded it nicer it’s not an attack on you so please don’t get upset. Just turn off your computer and walk away for a while, this site is about people communicating so you gotta be ready for honest opinions. Or you could always just turn off the comments. Again I’M NOT ATTACKING YOU, I’m just trying to suggest fixing a problem that keeps happening.

system 3/10/2021 - 9:30 pm

i know you’re not attacking me. this isn’t about honest opinions, this is about blatant victim blaming. things are triggering for me when they’re a) flat out disrespectful with no positive intent, b) victim blaming or anything with the subtext “hey you’re fucking stupid and you brought this upon yourself”

99% of the time the people here are able to word things in a way that isn’t offensive, ignorant, etc (you’re an example of someone who can word things properly). I don’t get triggered to this extent unless it’s “you did this to yourself” type bs, or someone literally preying on me/stalker behavior. I don’t think a break is necessary, thank you for trying to help though. I appreciate it.

umber 3/11/2021 - 7:19 am

System – I’m glad my comment didn’t irritate you. Right after I left it I thought maybe it sounded rude and even I “could’ve worded it better” but I’m glad you got the sentiment. I take long breaks from this site because there’s a lot of triggering stuff and people probably don’t mean to sound like d**ks but the truth is all of us are probably sort of antisocial or lacking in people skills, so it’s a hit or miss. This site is like a mystery grab bag where sometimes you’ll get people who understand but other times you’ll get people who are blowing off their own steam and things get worse. I should take my own advice and step away, not that I ever make posts but just reading the comments is triggering to me. I hope you find a safe zone wherever it may be, here or elsewhere in your life.

thedevilisclose 3/10/2021 - 11:51 pm

It’s not your fault. That comment clearly came from a male that doesn’t know shit all about this kind of thing.. Please to do NOT take “advice” from idiots. They aren’t worth your time. My advice would be to just delete that comment and get it out of your life. Toxic people like that isn’t worth your time.

system 3/10/2021 - 11:54 pm

thank you. i will never understand how people think victim blaming is reasonable or an ok thing to do. this post is unbelievably erratic because i spiraled a bit.

thedevilisclose 3/10/2021 - 11:58 pm

That’s ok. I understand. They seem to just be really ignorant on the situation however that doesn’t make what they said right. Instead of assuming that’s what the girls wanted maybe he should have talked to them and found out the real story.. Hugs

thedevilisclose 3/10/2021 - 11:55 pm

I mean come on. That’s a little heartless to be saying on a suicide site. That…. I don’t even want to call him guy…. Really isn’t worth your time. Trust me this isn’t your fault. Although in your last post I said it is my fault I have also been in situations where it wasnt. Trust me I know this isn’t your fault. You really should ignore b**ches that say stuff like that. They clearly know nothing. Would you get a baker to show you how to fix a car? For the most part probably not, so don’t take “advice” from someone that only proves this isn’t their field of expertise

system 3/10/2021 - 11:59 pm

I’m not the only one who got “nice guy” vibes from them right? that comment they left just reeked of entitlement imo

thedevilisclose 3/11/2021 - 12:05 am

I could be wrong but the whole “you can fuck whoever you want” part kinda came off as an incel so the rest of the comment kinda follows after that. These kinds of people are very hurt closed minded people and this is how they treat stuff because they have a complete and total lack of knowledge on the subject blinded by their own pain to understand that this isn’t the way it is (to be fair theres groups of girls that think the same way about guys. Although none of it is the right thing to do)

system 3/11/2021 - 12:11 am

yeah, I was gonna say incel too. the whole “woe is me, women owe me sex” rhetoric is so… gross. and im like 99% sure they made that acc just to leave that comment because i couldn’t find anything else under their name, and the email is a throwaway.

thedevilisclose 3/11/2021 - 12:33 am

No, I’ve seen them around. I recognize the name. However I can’t remember any of their past comments.

Yes agreed. I do not fault an incel for their pain however I fault then for how they are handling.

thedevilisclose 3/11/2021 - 12:34 am

Them for how they are handling it*

spreject 3/11/2021 - 1:16 pm

Women don’t “owe me sex”. And I don’t owe women sympathy.

Also, I’m really tired of women calling men entitled.

Women are more entitled than men.

Most men are grateful AF for what little attention they get from women.

Some women literally charge men money to sleep with them.

Others charge men money for seeing them naked.

Others require that the men they date have a fancy career.

Others want the man to pay for them.

Etc. etc.

Feminism is just another religion.

spreject 3/11/2021 - 1:07 pm

I recognize that my comment was apparently inappropriate given OPs situation. For that I am sorry. But don’t call me ignorant.

Women have enough agency to reject men like me with zero fucks given on their part. Fine.

The why the fuck should they be entitled to my sympathy when they can’t bring themselves to leave the bad boy who abuses them?

If women want equality, that includes adult things like agency and responsibility.

To reiterate: my comment here is not aimed at OP, but at the idiots calling me names instead of having an honest discussion.

thedevilisclose 3/11/2021 - 1:53 pm

we were having a discussion

system 3/11/2021 - 2:49 pm

a) we were having a discussion. and b) leaving an abuser can be incredibly dangerous… c) I really don’t appreciate the anti-feminism bs on a post that has literally nothing to do with feminism. Victim blaming isn’t exclusive to women. men get abused too. abuse isn’t a gender specific thing. and feminism’s name is misleading, it’s for equality, not matriarchy. Nobody is entitled to your sympathy. The language you are using like “leave the bad boy who abuses them” and “men like me” tells me that you’re projecting. Do some research on the psychology of abuse before you spout toxic things about how people are “irresponsible” for not leaving their abusers.
source: Why Victims Stay

I never said that men specifically were entitled. People who think with the outlook I was describing are entitled. This post had nothing to do with sex work, so I’m not sure why you brought that up. Nobody’s stopping men from charging money for services like that. Nobody forces anyone to buy those services either. The careers of people you don’t know doesn’t effect you.

thedevilisclose 3/11/2021 - 3:16 pm

i was thinking about how i specifically said “I COULD BE WRONG” and how the other comment i made i was just about them in general “I do not fault an incel for their pain however I fault them for how they are handling it.”

spreject 3/11/2021 - 3:52 pm

No offence, but just because I don’t agree with your worldview, it doesn’t mean I don’t have any life experience.

You talk about relationships as if they just happen. They don’t. Women make an active choice to reject or accept a male suitor. And if you’re capable of rejecting a loser, you should be capable of rejecting an abuser. It’s not like there are zero signs to go on. You could literally just ask the men in his orbit and the ones he has spent his whole life bullying could tell you he’s a POS. But instead, it’s easier to pretend it’s all *men in general*’s fault and call your accusations “equality”.

thedevilisclose 3/11/2021 - 3:55 pm

“easier to pretend”
dude theyre dealing with trauma, they arent pretending anything.

spreject 3/11/2021 - 3:59 pm

I wasn’t talking to you mate.

thedevilisclose 3/11/2021 - 4:03 pm

i dont really care. im not gonna watch someone be a d*ck to someone thats clearly suffering right now. i kind of have a problem with people that feel the need to be disrespectful to others

spreject 3/11/2021 - 4:09 pm

We’re all “dealing with trauma”.

Dealing with trauma is part of life.

Women have agency. I thought that was a core tenet of feminism?

Yet when it comes to the arena where women arguably wield the most power of all – dating – suddenly they’re just traumatized victims incapable of autonomous decision-making?

I mean: You do realize women actively seek out and court dangerous men, don’t you? You do realize there are murderers in jail drowning in propositions from women, right? Isn’t it time to hold women just a little bit responsible for the situations they put themselves in?

Like we do with men who take stupid risks?

spreject 3/11/2021 - 4:12 pm

You were real respectful yourself when you called me an idiot etc.

thedevilisclose 3/11/2021 - 4:15 pm

wow i really hope no one goes to you for advice. youll probably send them to an early grave.

you dont know these people. you dont know their story. you dont know anything about them. you are making biased judgments without being in someones shoes.

“Yet when it comes to the arena where women arguably wield the most power of all – dating” also again i point out how ignorant this comment is. ok you want a feminist comment. guys only want fucking sex. theyre good damn pigs that need to get their dick out off their ass.

thedevilisclose 3/11/2021 - 4:15 pm

god damn*

spreject 3/11/2021 - 4:47 pm

One of the disadvantages of spending decades complaining about how unfair life is for women and how terrible men are is that men will actually get a pretty good idea of what issues women face, what they consider traumatic, what they consider disgusting, creepy, annoying, boring, etc.

So yeah, based on those observations, my sympathy is kinda limited.

Life is generally worse for men.

system 3/11/2021 - 6:14 pm

so you’re telling me you don’t think being forced to carve someone’s name into your flesh and being forced to cut your face open with a razor is traumatizing? you’re telling me being raped at 14 isn’t traumatizing? being consistently abused by predators beginning at the age of 8 isn’t traumatizing?

system 3/11/2021 - 6:22 pm

https://suicideproject.org/2021/03/androphobic/

I don’t fucking blame shit on all men. I don’t hate men either. I’ve never said that. I literally feel GUILT for being afraid of adult men. You can’t just say “no offense OP” and then say something completely ignorant, offensive, and uneducated. Leave me alone.

I DIDN’T HAVE THE ABILITY TO “REJECT” MY ABUSER. What fucking part of the word EXTORTION or BLACKMAIL do you not understand?? Are you fucking thick??? HE FOUND ME. I DID NOT GO SEARCHING. I HAD NO MUTUALS WITH HIM.

thedevilisclose 3/12/2021 - 2:19 am

@system it would be nice if admin could deal with problems when they arise like this. An opinions fine but sometimes it’s better left unsaid.

system 3/12/2021 - 2:30 am

agreed. absolutely fucking agreed.

thedevilisclose 3/12/2021 - 5:05 am

Some advice from a ‘been there done that’ pov??

Take it if you want or don’t but

Just delete/ignore what ever they say. The stress that it causes really isn’t worth it. *hugs*

spreject 3/12/2021 - 11:45 am

OP, I wasn’t talking about you. Also, you said a lot of mean shit about me after I simply expressed how I felt about a subject. So don’t play holier-than-thou. I’m sorry you went through bad shit and wish you good luck getting better.

Abnormal.Thoughts 3/11/2021 - 12:17 am

There are whole posts that spout this kind of bs. Those are the people you ignore. It’s not your fault and they have no idea what they are talking about.

system 3/11/2021 - 12:50 am

thank you, and yeah I’ve seen : ( there’s a lot of people with this mindset and it’s usually stemming from internalized self-hatred and anger

Abnormal.Thoughts 3/11/2021 - 8:03 am

Yes, those people found their way to this place for their own reasons, they have their own pains, so I try not to take out personally despite how insensitive and only untrue what they say is.
I’m really glad that it’s clearly not the majority, you have support.

Abnormal.Thoughts 3/11/2021 - 8:05 am

Spell check: it not out
and
obviously not only.

Abnormal.Thoughts 3/11/2021 - 9:21 am

Ps. This could be a new account from the same culprit as before, I haven’t seen the name before.

blue_dude15 3/11/2021 - 12:36 am

… wow. That person was just so rude. Its NOT your fault at all, you deserve better. Abuse happens, and its NOT the victims fault! That comment is complete bullshit and so insensitive to so many abuse victims. I`m so sorry that someone said that to you

system 3/11/2021 - 12:53 am

thank you for the support, I hope you’re feeling a bit better than you were during your last post.

blue_dude15 3/11/2021 - 12:57 am

I am feeling better, thank you for asking. I hope you’re also feeling a little better

thedevilisclose 3/11/2021 - 12:38 am

I see a whole page of support *hugs* and I’m sure many more reading that feel your pain.

Please, let us pick you up. Ignore him. You deserve better. You deserve more.

system 3/11/2021 - 12:52 am

My point about this community being wonderful 99.9% of the time still stands. this comment section is a great example. thank you for all the reassurance, it’s really comforting

stupidbitch 3/11/2021 - 3:02 am

It absolutely isn’t your fault! I’m sorry there are people who actually believe it’s the victim’s fault.

system 3/11/2021 - 3:06 pm

Thank you. It surprises me honestly. I don’t understand what they don’t understand about the word victim and how that literally means “hey, this wasn’t this person’s fault and their suffering isn’t in their control”

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