I’m so sick and tired of living this nightmare that is my life. I have been deprived of all happiness and feel nothing but pain. Life is a terror and bad things keep happening to me. I don’t feel safe at all. I’m not even me anymore. My mind is deteriorating and I have trouble thinking straight at times. I feel extreme, unbearable anxiety that makes me feel like I’m dying. I loathe myself and wish I never existed. I wish I had been fucking aborted at least, goddamnit. Things will never get better. There’s no way out at this point; it’s too late to save myself. I should have done something about it earlier but I didn’t because I’m a stupid idiot. I feel so sad and anxious all the time to the point that I can’t sit and just read a fucking book anymore (I miss doing that). I wish I had a shoulder to cry on but it’s not like I can open up to my parents about how I feel because I’m only sad because I’m uNgRaTeFuL. I want to die. I’m so sad and I can hardly bear it anymore. Life is so horrible and painful. It’s only a matter of time until I lose my mind completely.