I think I’ve gone off the deep end.
In the time and place at which I am writing this, it is almost 4 in the afternoon. If I hadn’t intervened 3 hours ago, I would likely still be in bed right now, oscillating between being asleep and being awake. Last night I fell asleep at around 4:30 in the morning, and even then it took a lot of effort to close my eyes for good. I never thought I could be so pathetic.
I haven’t done anything all day. I have no energy for anything anymore. I can’t even do things that I had wanted to do. I spent most of today ruminating on how much I hate myself, bad memories, and mistakes I’ve made. I feel like nobody cares about me. None of my friends have responded to my messages yet. I don’t even know why I bother.
I wish I was never born. The world would have been better off without me. I had a promising future and was passionate, but depression came and took all of that away. And it had the audacity to take my life away just as I was getting started with it.
I am an empty, contemptible shell of my former self.