So my dads in jail again and now I’m a little bit of a mess because of it. It’s nothing new for my dad to be in jail or whatever but he promised me he would pay for my drivers Ed I work on weekends and have a VERY hard time saving when something goes wrong buying new stuff makes me feel better so I have no money saved and I need to start drivers Ed soon even if I started saving up now I still probably wouldn’t have enough for speed week. I feel bad for feeling bad for him because of everything he put my family through but I just always think of how alone he is and how sad that is especially when he does stupid stuff that gets him arrested. He used to be a great father but he was an addict and extremely self destructive and it tore our family apart but he still had the dog I could always tell how lonely he was because of the dog he would make food for two and have the dog eat at the table with him sadly my dog passed last year and he has been all alone sense. I feel like he does stupid stuff and gets arrested because he doesn’t think he has anything to lose he already lost custody of his kids his dog died and he doesn’t really talk to anyone this makes me feel even worse because I still care about him and I don’t think he really sees that. I always feel sad and upset when he gets arrested but this time it just feels worse there is so much going on that we needed him for and he’s not here. My sister is going to college soon which means it will just be me and my brother ( and my mom and her husband and his kid but we don’t get along with him which makes it hated on our relationship with our mother) and I don’t know how we are going to survive without her or my father especially with me trying to get my license and them not being here to help me. I’m not going to have a father to teach me how to drive or have my sister be there when I get my license and it hurts me because it just feels like I’m losing everyone and everything I don’t know how I’m going to pay for it without my dad or how I’m going to pass without my sister and I feel so lost with no one to talk to because my mom hates my dad she said he terrorized her and I get that he did, he terrorized all of us but he’s still my father and I want him to get better and want better for himself and I still want him to be apart of my life but everytime I bring him up she gets mad and defensive and I don’t know what to do anymore.