Starting to feel like I’m having imposter syndrome in life. I’ve made some improvements bit it’s nowhere near enough. I’m finding myself getting more and more irritated in general. Sick and staying home today, so I’ll be here, just reflecting I guess.
What do I do when I’m not working? Read up on computers and networking related things, try to improve my ability with Linux. I stopped the video games so the most I’d do with that is watch the occasional gameplay videos to try to calm down.
Idk I’m tired of my life it seems. I can’t keep going like this.
I’m a bit sick but here I am, angry and pontificating. I don’t know where my trajectory is going anymore. It’s like I’ve given up, even though I know I can’t do that, least I want to be homeless.
3 comments
Hey T
I can completely relate with the imposter syndrome. When most people think of imposter syndrome, they think of not feeling like they earned a job or are competent enough for it. But for me, and it seems you as well, it’s feeling like an imposter regarding basic human stuff. Listening to other people talk about careers, investments, goals has always made me feel like an imposter. I just don’t care about those things.
And it’s quite depressing, but for most people, the best life they can hope for is to work an alright-paying job they don’t like in order to pay for various ways to escape from their lives (traveling, books, games, events like music shows, etc.). If you’ve given up video games, I’d definitely recommend that you pick up an other form of escapism. Escapism, itself, isn’t bad. We all do it. It just becomes an issue when it replaces the life we’re trying to take a break from.
O and I saw a while ago that you lost contact with someone you care about. I’ve also lost contact with someone I deeply care about at around the same time. I’m sorry that you’re going through something like that. It’s a difficult situation that fosters a lot of what-ifs and doubts about yourself and the other person. And unfortunately the only way to deal with it is to do nothing. They’ll reach out if they’re able and/or willing. But of course that doesn’t stop me from routinely checking police reports and obituaries, ha aye.
It’s good to hear from you, Potato. 🙂
I know you get where I’m coming from and I appreciate it.
I’m mainly just trying to take life more seriously and actually do some of the things I’d said I’ll do for a long time now. I’m just having a hard time with a lot of things. I have a great job now, which is really good, but I’m floundering in my personal life, which I need to fix.
Thanks for listening, and I hope things are going okay for you too.
T, the trulymindless1
It’s good to hear that you’ve got a great job. That’s difficult to get. But yeah, as you already know, it doesn’t lessen the issues in many other parts of your life. I hope you manage to make progress with your personal life. It’s such a tricky aspect to deal with, and it’s completely different for each person.
No problem! And things are going okay. Kinda in the twilight of my life, but it is what it is and definitely not unique for most who’ve been on this site.