Hi all, just registered, found the site through some google work. Have been hospitalised for 7 months in February with a nervous breakdown/depression (not certain which, they never told me) after being on Xanax for years. Been back to work in October and had to go see a new psychiatrist for follow-up who subscribed me on Fluoxetine (Prozac). I was doing ok (relatively) before that but for some reason I’m now more depressed than before instead of vice versa. The medication also makes me highly nauseous, especially sick in the morning, and causes severe heart pain in the early hours of morning when lying in bed. I’m pretty tired of most of it right now; My reasons for getting depressed in the first place haven’t diminished (they’ve grown if anything; administrative/financial hassle, a break up, moving into a small appartment, …) so I’m feeling pretty tempted at this point. I have no plans unless it’s jumping from a high building and the ones in this country are not so high to be certain to provoke lethality unfortunately.
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BartD, It sounds like you may benefit greatly from using a different antidepressant, perhaps from a different class (i.e., something other than an SSRI, which is what Prozac is). People have very individual responses to these meds and it’s unfortunately trial and error.
I know, phoned to the psychiatrist saying that but she insiststed to continue this treatment as it only works after several weeks. I’ve been on several other medication when hospitalised too, Inderal, Invega, Wellbutin, Seroquel, …but the main problem I have is that in February I had a widely irrational fear that was taking over everything, which they thought was linked to the lengthy Xanax usage; However that is back now, stronger than ever. I’ve been going through my mind endlessly today all the worst things that can happen and being certain they will. It’s my main reason for being suicidal at this point, even should I stop with the prozac I think the issues will continue.
Yes, it can be really frustrating to be on so many unsuccessful med trials. I think that is more often than not the reality for many people. Yeah she’s right that it takes several weeks, and the side effects often do go away, but still, you sound really uncomfortable.
Sounds like you’re having obsessional dread. Perhaps you have a bit of OCD mixed in with the depression. Does your psychiatrist do any psychotherapy too or just meds?
She’s a regular psychiatrist and just had a talk for one hour and prescribed meds. I needed to go to a psychotherapist (Psygroup) which was just a long talk and got me nowhere the couple of times I went there. The thing that really helped me was being admitted to a psychiatric hospital after being in hospital February and March and the lack of Xanax making me very suicidal and jittery, so I was there from end of March until October, and the lack of stress and different therapies helped. I’ve always had an obsessive personality, I focus on one thing most often to the range of it getting me half deranged, then next moment I forget about it, it’s really weird. I also have permanent tinnitus of about 50db to 60db so I’m also stuck with a permanent sound in my ears taking my attention. I don’t have any solution to getting my attention span sorted unfortunately, unless it’s drinking a bit, which is hardly helping.
Sounds rough! You’ve been in inpatient treatment and outpatient therapy group? Do you have the option of individual psychotherapy?
The psygroup one is individual therapy. It just absolutely serves no purpose for me, it’s just talking and I felt I’d need months or years trying to explain the whole situation, so I quit with that right now. I was perfectly fine when taking Xanax actually, it always got me down and made me feel mellow a bit when I had to take it in the evening after a day of work. So far none of the antidepressants I have gotten seem to do anything about the attention disorder. It’s reaylly unfortunate my mind started freaking out due to the xanax usage over a long period and they decided to make me stop. As for inpatient treatment/psychiatric center, most of what they did was sports, walking, working in the garden, and so forth. I started off feeling it was all a bit bogus but over the few months I was there it got better, maybe also with their medication, which I’m off now. Going back for 2-3 months to work + all the other stressful things in life seem to be triggering everything right back and, well, I can’t see myself taking it a long time anymore. I’m perfectly fine with ending myself, truth be told, I’ve lost most things in my life anyway and I’m rather neutral about it, the only thing I’ll need is a decent planning.
BartD–I understand. I’m in a similar boat. I did find a psychiatrist, however, who is willing to think outside the box and prescribe something more experimental, like ketamine. i also wonder if instead of therapy, a real tight structure (like you had in the hospital) might help. I also wonder about whether Buddhist thought/rituals might not help. Just stabbing in the dark. I”m as lost as you are.