parents’ perspective sucks

i wish i can drink alcohols and get drunk, forget everything for a while.. but i cant really drink it.. i always puke.. wish i can sleep all day and hav beautiful dreams instead thinking of how miserable my life is.. i hate my parents i hate my brother i hate my environment i hate my life i hate everything.. my parents sucks.. they always see things different than wad i see,, and their financial sucks too make it worse.. i always see tht im less than my brother.. its not like im comparing myself to him.. but the fact tht he went to expensive school, he travels alot, he doesnt waste money, hes talkative, he go to church, he graduated with excellent grades, and others. and now look at me.. im forced to go to this ugly bad stupid school, and yeahh cheaper. i waste money. im pretty quite. i dont really like to go to church. my grades arent so good, some are awful. i did tell my parents that i wanna go to other school.. better one.. (which shud make me a good person since i dont wanna waste my life in a bad school for a bad future) but they said ‘the school u attend now is a good school, thts why u go there.’ but im the one who go and know about the school.. they dont know! and we fought and i didnt talk to my dad for about 3 weeks..  maybe some of u  think tht im not grateful wadsoever but yeahh from wad i see iam less than my brother and even everyone..  so i think tht my parents cant really afford my life.. somehow i wanna tell them tht if u guys cant afford my life then u can only hav 1 child then, my brother.. u dont need to hav me.. im less than him.. im not happy with my life.. i hate my life.. if i can end my life rite now.. and with the guarantee  i can go to heaven (cos im a believer) tht would be awsome! i would be pleased.. but tht would make me kinda like a loser yeah? cos i dont fight for my life.. but what can i do? im so sick of them controlling my life.. so sick tht i dont get the opportunities tht others can get. the feeling tht im less than everyone.. im depressed im hate my life i dont wanna live like this god just please rewind the time and i dont wanna be born.. or if my parents want another child.. then choose another child with more positiveness.. dont choose me.. im bad and less.. choose a better one..