I’m Lily, I’m 15- I have social anxiety and I have no friends- well I have fake ones 🙁
Every day I go to school I feel alone and awkward when my friends are with their friends. I’m just standing there, I wish I was confident enough to make other friends but I’m not. My closest “friend” does her best to make me feel out of place by ignoring me and leaving me out of things. I’ve tried to tell them how I feel twice but they must think I am just trying to get attention or something. In a way I am trying to get attention, I’m trying to get my friends to actually care about my feelings- but obviously that isn’t possible. Every day after school I come home so depressed and I cry a lot and I just really need someone to talk to 🙁
I mean if my friends are treating me like this then they obviously aren’t that good.
I really need at least one true friend, but I don’t know how to talk to people or make friends.
I want to die, but I don’t want to kill myself
I feel so alone and horrible- I’ve been thinking about calling a suicide hotline but that isn’t possible because I live in a country that doesn’t actually have one.
I don’t know what to do
12 comments
I am here for you! I’m going to be honest in saying this is my first te posting on this cite. But I am an everyday girl just like you! Less than a month ago I turned 20 and have gone through depression, anxiety, feeling alone, and within the last two months have lost my grandma who was also my best friend. It sounds like we could both need another! I know we probably live far away, and we may never meet another, but i think we could bothhelp one another! Like I said, I am new to this as of tonight, but feel free to message me back! I will try anything! And I.would love to help you if I can! You can.text me.at 7152711191 or just message me on here! I need someone, and it sounds like you do too!
Thanks for your message:) I’m so so sorry about your grandma- I can’t imagine how empty you feel. 🙁 x If you ever want anyone to talk to, you can talk to me, I’m here for you also <3
This is basically my problem right now:
I have 3 close friends- Bridget, Aria and Maddie. Bridget usually does her own thing with other people- we get on really well and she's really nice. Aria usually leaves me out at lunch and stuff and goes with her other friends- she doesn't do it on purpose though. Maddie- she says that I'm her best friend but she tries her best to make me feel out of place- I've known her since year 7 (11, 12 years old) and we've always done everything together but as soon as I began to make friends with Aria last year when she joined our class she would get mad at me because she thought I was "ditching" her- she's always been immature like this, but I tried to make her feel better by reassuring her that she was always my best friend and I just wanted to make Aria feel welcome because I know how it sucks to be a new girl. But Maddie got really jealous and started sending horrible messages to Aria and being quite mean to her in school. I spent equal time with them both and in the end we all became really good friends.
But this year I don't really know what's happened, I've become really shy and depressed and when I'm with people I get scared that I'm boring them. As I have lost friends, Aria and Maddie have gained friends- and now at lunch I'm all alone. I've tried to tell them how sad and alone I feel but they don't really seem to care. After I told Maddie how I felt like I had no friends anymore the next day at school she told me about how in her english class they have to write an essay about something that annoys them- and she's writing about attention seekers- and as she told me she gave the example of people who say things like "I have no friends, I hate my life…" -as if she was hinting at me…
I don't want to be friends with them anymore but I don't know how to make any new friends :/ These last few weeks have been the worst, I've come home and just broken down crying. Some people just have friends so easily, I don't understand, like is there something wrong with me 🙁
It's like a horrible circle- I get depressed and awkward because I have no good friends and when I talk to new people, they don't want to be my friend because I'm depressed and awkward..
I just wish I had ONE good friend :/
Sorry if I overwhelmed you with all of this writing haha
Lily <3
Please don’t worry about “overwhelming” me! Venting is what I want.to be here.for! I can only hope.that by helping other people.with suicidal tendencies I will in turn become better myself. I have a lot more going on, as I have posted on another board, but that isn’t the point. I want to help others! ANd I can tell you I have felt with the same things as far as highschool friends goes. I had a “bestfriend” who would leave bruises on me if I talked to someone else. I can assure you that nothing that they are putting you through is your fault! I for example am a very passive person, so people were always controlling me. Maybe you are the same way?It was hard for me, but slowly I started standing up.to others. However I know.it.is hard to go against your peers, especially if you are already feeling alone or left out. From experience I would like to throw it out there that is usually gets better as you get older. And most people don’t keep high schoolfriends as they age. Most people make “real” friends in college, I promise you! And in college you have a freash slate! No one can judge you.on your past! Highschool was when my depression began, and although I still have it, I can tell you that the little things will slot loose importance
I’m 15 too, and i know what kind of position you are in. I don’t really have a lot of friends. I used to have one, but she hates me now. Anyway, talking to people is what this websites for i know that this anonymous posting isn’t real useful but if you have an email or facebook, id love to talk to you. 🙂
Thank you! You really have helped me:) Being on this site with so many nice people just makes me feel a ton better <3 Can't wait until high schools ends haha
bwhite97 I would love to talk to you as well, my email is: lilyferret2802@hotmail.co.uk 🙂
I lost all my friends. I could go on about a few stories about them. I’ve lost more then a handful of BEST friends throughout… well…. the last year. Adding to that, all I do is get made fun of at school now… don’t give a fuck about that though. Certain things get me the fuck down.
But im 17 cant wait to get out of high school.
But seriously all of my best friends, are gone from my life. They all booted me out in some pathetic way.
I feel your pain 🙁 About a few months ago, my “best friend” dropped me as a friend (probably due to jealousy or whatever) and if that wasn’t bad enough, she had turned all my other friends against me because we were all in the same group. I was crying for 6 hours straight that day and I came horribly close to committing suicide. It’s thanks to the people on this site that kept me from doing such a mistake.
You’re not alone though! 15 is an awkward age. Everyone is still trying to figure out where they belong in life and your “friends” are probably just immature or whatnot.
I’m actually 17 and I’m leaving highschool next week (thank goodness!) and trust me, everything does get better! I would love to talk to you or be friends with you (if that’s alright with you) 🙂 I’m actually studying psychology to be a therapist so I can help others when I get older. My name’s Giovanna by the way~ Gio for short ^.^
I’m way over here, but glad to see site members helping each other.
Hi Lily!
I too have social anxiety when around people if I don’t know them EXTREMELY well. I have a few friends, thankfully and I’m comfortable around them. But the rest of the school? I can barely talk to them.
Socially awkward people (that’s what I call myself) really can only make friends before they were socially awkward, or with other socially awkward people. With all the pressure to get a girlfriend/ boufriend through high school combined with not being able to talk to anyone makes for a rough time, I know…
PLEASE send me an email, I’m uncappingcone@mail.com (I can tell you my real email after, I don’t want to be spammed). Sorry if I was a little awkward 🙂
I know exactly how you feel, it’s hard especially when you want someone to talk to and especially hard when you don’t feel confident enough to be your own person. If you want you can email me
Oh and I’m 15 too and I know how it feels I’m pretty anti-social, don’t be afraid to email me