Enough is enough!

I am 28 yrs old.  I am your typical white guy.  I am married to a beautiful women be she doesn’t live with me.   I use to own a business but with the economy I had to shut down.  I have had a rough life I spent 9 yrs in stae and federal prison. I went in when I was 18.  I came out reformed and ready to work.  I met my wife who was my sisters best friend about 4 months after i was released.  I started a moving business and did great with it.  i was able to do more stuff with my life in such a short time then most do with a whole life time.  A year and half ago I was arrested for grand theft in-which a customer found out I had been in prison before and called the cops saying I stole their boat when in fact I had a contract to transport it.  Even tough I had all my paper work it didn’t matter the state is still pursuing me in court and my federal parole was violated because i was arrested.  To top it all off my wife left me because becasue i treated her like shit when my business was struggleing back in September. I was also insecure and a asshole to everyone I know even though I never wanted to hurt the people I love. In January I lost my business to the economy and now I cant find a job because of my past and I still have this court stuff hanging over my head.  I am to the point that I cant stand being around people and I feel like I am what ever one says I am. A ex-con, a worthless piece of sh–.  Even after everything I have done and built since I have been free it doesn’t matter no one will help and no one wants to help.  I figure it would be easier just to goto sleep and forget all of this sh– out here.  I dont want to go back to prison but I cant live like this either.  I use to never drink but now that is all I do.  I get turned down everywere for jobs and I have had to sell everything I worked for just to eat and pay bills. I just dont know anymore but what I do know is that the way I feel right before I pass out from drinking is the way I hope it feels when I die.  The only thing holding me together is my wife.  Altough we fight alot still and she doesnt live with me she still is my shinning light.  If I lost her again it would be the end of me for sure because then i would truely not have a reason to breathe.