i freaking called a crisis line what the fuck is wrong with me they will call the cops and send me back to the looney bin god i hope the police dont show up at my house tonight.I even told her the state i live in.Now i feel even worse.I hope i get the chance to end myself tomorrow since they think its friday
I wake up
to find you dead
I don’t believe
my broken head
I go to school
thinking you’re asleep
but through the day
I can’t help but weep
I feel dead when
I come home
seeing you there
my heart turns stone
I call a friend
scared and crying
She tells me you’re dead
I tell her she’s lying
Now there are cops
In our small home
they ask me questions
and invade our dome
I realize now
what this does mean
with these people around me
I let out a silent scream
It was valentines day
that you died of OD
I thought you were fine
but I guess […]
The driver had taken two candyflips earlier that day (acid and molly tabs) at the show. After the show, we went to an after party at someone’s house. Driver may have drank, I don’t know. But by the time I had to go, it was much after three in the morning…he wasn’t high anymore, just tired from being so high. We left, and he was swerving all over the place. My anxiety with cars has always been pretty bad, so my voice got caught in my throat and I couldn’t tell him to pull over. I closed my eyes on the highway after valley west […]
So im really into thoerys mythed things to be discovered y so i did som research on the butterfly effect here is the bases: So ive research this a bunch when im bored it is called “The butterfly effect” that is the title of a movie but it is also something which was studied and also the moral of that movie i will explain do you realize every decision and action you make does not only effect you but effects the world…even dropping a pen…even the smallest action impacts the world…ya see ther are always two ways for a scenario to go…for example the pen…if […]
I’ve recently started truly considering ending things.
I met the woman of my dreams and fell head over heels in love with her. She was beautiful and amazing and felt like the woman I felt I deserved. So like an idiot I rushed foolishly into marriage with her. And immediately after getting married she changed into a totally different person. She started having conversations on her phone with guys talking about how they wanted to hook up with her and she would go along with it. So we ended up arguing and fighting about it but she took it way beyond just a fight. So she […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Pretty sure I’ll be doing it within a month. I’ve decided on a hanging, I’ve looked into the subject a lot and the best options are expensive, and the other options can leave you pretty messed up. Hanging can too of course but has a higher success rate and is cheap to do. I knew a guy who tried shooting himself in the hospital during a previous attempt so even guns aren’t a guarantee but nothing is really. I don’t really expect anyone to read this, I notice most posts on here don’t have comments, so either no one reads or no one cares. That’s […]
Not Exactly Sure How To Start These. I’m Just Gonna Wing It.
From The Time I Was In Kindergarden I Was Bullied. Pushed Around, Bothered. No One Really Ever Left Me Alone. It Wasn’t Until 4th Grade It Started Getting Bad. I Started Getting In Trouble In School, I Owed 6,000 Hours Of Community Service By The Time I Had Finished 5th Grade. The Beginning Of 6th My Life Started Going Downhill Fast, My Parents Got Divorced, Week To Week With Mom And Dad. I Was Severely Unwanted At My Dad’s House. My Aunt Lived Next Door And My Uncle Lived Across The Street, I Couldn’t […]
This is my story, I would kindly like to ask you to not put rude comments. When I was a child I was mostly forgotten about. My sister had all the attention. My parents were both alcoholics, that forced my sister and I to be our own parents. I was probably about 1-3 I couldn’t take care of myself so my sister had to. My mom was a horrible drinker. She decided to pick us up from school one day drunk. As we drove back home my sister, she looked at me. Her face full of fear and turned around that’s when we heard the […]
There is just something about causing pain to oneself that is so beautiful. Cutting has always been my out. But it’s been taken away from me in a difficult way.Â
Two years ago my life was changed forever. The person I thought was everything to me tore my heart out and never gave me a reason behind it all. Â We had been best friends for 7 years and together for 4 years. We were always together for everything. After he refused to have anything to do with me, I decided to take things into my own hands. I was living on my friends couch because being […]
This isnt really my story but ill tell you anyway.
when i was growing up i had i close girl ‘friend’ who played with me every day. unlike me though, she was from a broken home and was abused by her dad, i was to young to understand at the time.she put up with this until she was a about 12 when her dad went for it and….well you can probably guess what happened, after that she tod the cops and they probably took him to prison.
it’s now 4 years after her dads gone (i dunno were she don’t tell me) and […]
Friend called the cops on me after I told him I was ready to die.
After that dehumanizing experience, I want to die even more. I learned that if I should ever attempt suicide, just let them find the body. My life has been ostensibly good lately: got a dream job, making friends, accepted to universities, yet I can’t get over losing Â him. I never will. I really don’t know what to do anymore.
Even with all of my personal growth and success, I’m still not good enough for him.
Yesterday in a particularly bad time I decided I was finally going to end it. At that time (when I was clearly not thinking rationally), I was determined and committed. I have been depressed for a while but when this all happened something really horrible happened and I had no way to work through it on my own. I know everyone says that and I don’t want to say the entire story, but basically a person who had sexually, physically, and emotionally abused me for several years somehow got my contact information and called me just to fuck with my mind, and it set off […]
My mom is such a fucking *****, I’ve had it up to here!! I can’t stand her shit any fucking more, last week on Thursday, she fucking ruined my plans because one Wednesday she thought I was going to beat up my sister because I complained about her touching my things. She made this HUGE scene on the phone, in the party she was in and at home. She is fucking STUPID, all she fucking does is think lowly of me and I’ve had ENOUGH. So on Thursday, she RUINED my plans because Â she says I MISBEHAVED on Wednesday, so I got SUPER FUCKING PISSED, […]
In early 2009 I started dealing with severe recurrent depression, even though I was undiagnosed at the time. Â I’m sure many of you know what that feels like. Â I felt like my life had no point, none of my classes were interesting, I didn’t want to hang out with my friends, and I just hated everything and everyone, especially myself. Â All of these emotions just kept building up until I couldn’t deal with it anymore. Â In September of that year I tried to overdose on sleeping pills. Â I calculated what the lethal dose for someone my size would be, and took that plus a few […]
I think we should all take a moment to think about how the choices we make affect everyone around us. When my sister chose to sneak out and do drugs, smoke cigarettes and get pregnant, she wasnâ€™t thinking about the arguing that I had to deal with when she wasnâ€™t around. I listened to my parents scream at each other nonstop over disagreements on how to discipline her. She didnâ€™t realize what it was like for me to wake up to cops knocking on the door at 2 in the morning bringing her home. She never apologized for the panic attacks that occurred within me […]
One of you contacted me by email yesterday.Â Kiss off.
AND FOR THE SINCERE AMONG US,some council.
When I took Accounting 101, I asked the instructor about cooking the books.Â His reply was, if he told me how it was done, he’d be instructing me in the commission of a crime, which is a crime itself.Â It wouldn’t matter if I ever committed the crime either.Â So, he couldn’t tell me about those things.
The study of cooking the books is called forensic accounting, it’s high lever class’s, and they certainly do teach students all about it.Â The legalese is you are learning how to recognize it.
Cops only […]
My birthday is on February 1st, this Friday, and I asked my mom
if we were going to do anything, an innocent question, right?
Her car hasn’t had a renewal sticker since November, which means its illegal for her to drive anywhere.
She and I had lost our jobs before the winter started, meaning we’re becoming dirt poor and can barely afford to keep anything we have.
I have a court trial coming up soon because of a statutory rape charge on my ex-boyfriend
I find myself thinking about hurting myself a lot or simply ending my life, but it would just put my family into more of a […]
The word servant means many things to me, and it also relates to how i am seen in my family. I am 14 years old, and the youngest of my family. I have two brothers who are aged 20 and 21, and mum and dad who are in their 50’s. I hate how i am treated, but i also hate myself because of that and the fact that i have no friends. People in the family treat me like they only had a 3rd child so i could be their pawn. My mum gets me to do craploads of tasks, never communicates on exactly what […]