I tried to hang myself last night. I have Schizoaffective disorder, BPD, PTSD and Anxiety and Depression. I feel like I have no one to talk to and everyone that I do talk to thinks I’m whiney. I have problems with my body and the doctors don’t see anything wrong. It’s so hard for me to walk and my insurance will be up at the end of next month. I will get a biopsy on Monday and they said that it could make my situation worse, plus they are going to stick a needle in the most sensitive area in my body. It’s so depressing and I feel like a failure. My mom thinks I don’t believe in God and have accepted the devil in my life. This isn’t true. I want to die but I know I will burn in hell. I don’t think I care anymore. I don’t have many friends and my support that I have just are annoyed of me.
11 comments
I first want to say that I’m glad you are still here and have decided to reach out to others to try to explain the pain.
While I cannot say I know what you are going through physically, I know the emotional pain you are going through right now. It’s a shame when you cry out for help and everyone ignores you.
People treat you like a burden when you try to explain the pain and suffering you are going through, whether that pain be physical, mental, or a combination of both.
I say go through with the biopsy. If they screw up your health even more than you know who to blame for ruining your life.
After they pinned all those labels on you, did they put you on drugs? If they did, it’s probably a major part of the problem.
Regarding the whole afterlife thing, maybe don’t worry about that right now, but get the life you have here sorted.
You can do it.
Physical/mental disorders are not the result of having the devil in you unless you specifically invite a demon in.
The difference between a possession and an ailment is that the demon must be invited in somehow. Unless you have done that, you do not have the devil in you.
There are the “lost” though, which I see many on this site. They run from the Word of God on purpose, and thus aren’t children of God.
I wish you the best. Pray to God that He gives you comfort with your illness. While the suffering might not go away, He can give you the inner peace that you deserve.
aren’t we all technically still the children of god whether we invite him in or not? that’s what i was always taught in catholic school. he wants all of us to be his children but we have to invite him in first. so not accepting him doesn’t make us any less his than a foster child not accepting his parent because they disowned him. whether they like it or not, they are still related. god always says whether we like it or not, we are still his, no?
not trying to be argumentative WIG, i just caution you to choose your words wisely here as to not spread false gospel.
Well, in the Bible. Jesus called many the children of satan, so no, not everyone who claims to be a child of God is.
Catholic school doesn’t teach the truth. I have been there, done that most of my life.
Catholics are not taught to read the Bible, only the “readings” and the associated “approved” reflections/studies of them.
Catholics are not urged to read the Bible. Ever wonder why? I don’t think my Catholic schools were any different than yours……or any others.
Forget it Scarred…I warned him before as did I warn him about breaking down other sects…
Hopefully they will find something from that biopsy so it’ll be worth the pain you’ll have to endure from it. And as someone said before, don’t worry about heaven or hell now, just about getting better.
It might sound strange…but a bad result from the biopsy might still make you feel better (you will still be feeling bad and down but in a different way). It’s the not knowing that can wreak all kinds of havoc with ones emotions…take it from me, I’m an expert on that area.
Chances are the biopsy comes back clean and it’s a benign growth/irregularity. People immediately assume the worst when it comes to something being wrong or a lump/bump being in the wrong place. Moreoften than not, it has a simple explanation and even if it is the worst case scenario, medicine has come pretty far and the odds of recovery is much better nowadays.
I am sure that your support is going through the same dilemma…they don’t know what to make of it and they don’t know how to react. They do care…most of the time apparent frustration or indifference, is them trying to get you not to give up hope.
Either way, we are here…
wtf that is so false it’s hilarious??? Jesus did not call anyone the “child of satan”. pls give me verses here. that would mean satan created them right? if someone is your child then you created them. who did satan create? wouldn’t that mean they were doomed from the start? yeah i don’t think satan ever birthed anyone. only good can create. bad destroys…WIG pls you are looking like a fool. my whole 10th grade year we studied the GODDAMN bible lol. you are seriously off it right now.
and pls, explain the rapings and pillagings of whole towns in the bible. was that god’s loving way of showing us how much he cared?
the bible was written by man dood. you can believe there’s a god. even believe that god exists. but if you believe every word that book says, it’s no wonder you’re a very very confused man. that book says one thing in the OT and completely contradicts everything in the NT.
it’s like reading a book of fiction and the first half is like “rape, pillage, and take whatever the fuck you want so long as you do so in the name of “god””
and then the 2nd half was like…yo yo yo, love everyone. forget everything we just said. we didn’t mean that first 800 pages…
All this talk of the Bible and demons is hilarious…