Please help me.

I know you are going through hell right now, but you need to understand you are in a temporary, though very serious emotional crisis. You need to get help NOW!

As I’ve mentioned before if you are looking for help, the best thing you can do is to find a dialectical behavioral therapist, as this therapy was designed by psychiatrists and therapists specifically working with, and trying to help those who are suicidal. It is statistically proven to have the highest, and most significant success at actually helping people like us, as well as those suffering from other, various and sundry mental torments. Cognitive therapy is second best, as far as actually showing statistical evidence of being effective. (If there was a DBT, or cognitive therapist here, I’d be in therapy right now.)

But, in your situation, any decent therapist is preferable to none. You CAN get through this crisis. Though it may be hard to see it, it is only temporary, though by no means does that mean your suffering is not genuine.

The only other advice I can give you is to try to stay in the moment as much as possible, do not allow yourself thoughts about the past or fears of the future, just try getting through moment to moment, day by day.

We’re all human and we all make mistakes, we all screw up, almost all of us hurt those we love and must deal with the guilt, anguish, grief, and shame of that. But, try to forgive yourself, learn from your mistakes, accept responsibility, and the consequences, but other than that don’t keep punishing yourself for the past you cannot now change. I know that’s easy for others to say, and very difficult to do, but please try.

And, know you are not alone.