I am 56, soon 57 in a few weeks. I am lonely. I have a 25 year old son, who hardly ever comes to visit me. A woman lived with me for many years. She was my girlfriend. I found out that she cheated on me twice. That day I found out, she came home, but I told her that I wouldn’t give her any more chances, and to pack up her things and remove them from my house and leave, because I did not want to be cheated on anymore. It hurt me to do this to her, but it hurt even more being cheated on. I cried and cried. I had officially made myself alone. Ever since then, I have had the occasional girlfriend, all resulting in break up. They were alot younger than me. I asked all of them to find a man around their own age instead. I may only be alive for another 20 years. I do not want to leave them with the heartbreak of a dead husband. What if they wanted kids? I am too old to be a father now. The most recent girlfriend I had, I invited her to my house. She wanted to have sex, so I agreed. When she saw my penis, she burst out laughing. Humiliated, I put my pants back on and ran to the kitchen. I yelled at her to leave and never come back here again. She continued to laugh, but I heard her close the front door and leave after a while. Before she did she told me that my penis is way too small. Then she was gone. I cried and cried for hours. I tried to do things to try and get my mind off it. I used to have a dog a few years ago. He got old and died. I wish that he was still here now, so I had someone to cry with and talk to. I miss him so much. He was my best friend. I cannot buy another dog, it just won’t be the same. Ever since that woman left I have been alone. I don’t think I want a girlfriend anymore, after that incident, but I don’t want to be alone either. Older women don’t even look at me. I am starting to think that I am past my use by date. I am not creepy. Every new day I wake up knowing it will be another day of being alone. I will get old and maybe ill too. I will waste away and rot being lonely. I do not want to be alone anymore. I have dreams that my dog is still here. I also have dreams that I have a nice kind loving sweet girlfriend that I can share my life with… Sadly, it will never happen. I need to stop being delusional. I am thinking of hanging myself I am just so damn scared of failing and ending up brain damaged 🙁
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
7 comments
Being emasculated like that, can’t imagine what you were feeling. I’m sorry, but I really don’t have any sort of advice I can offer you in this sort of situation. Any advice I can give is that you can’t really suffer brain damage from hanging as long as you tie a good enough on something sturdy enough for your mass. I’m here to talk if you like.
Alright. Thanks. I will keep that in mind. I am still uncertain if I should go ahead with it. I have had a long life so its not like I am missing out on anything. Gosh, I wish that I could make up my mind!
I would recommend getting a dog. They’re much more simpler than people to figure out. It can be depressing when a pet dies, though. I mention this because the next dog would die too, and you might end up in another depressive state, then again, I’m no doctor or psychologist or whatever. The dog surely won’t be the same, but you can make a new friend.
My mom has a bunch of pet cats that are fun to play with. I like that all you have to do is pet them and feed them and they start liking you. I sure wish people were that simple.
First, any girl who judges you by your penis size isn’t worth the paper her birth certificate is written on. There’s something wrong with someone like that: “shallow” comes to my mind. Please do not use her reaction to judge yourself. Not all women are like that. Not to be crude, but I don’t give a damn about the size of a guy’s anatomy: I care whether they act like a decent human being.
Second, I think good and sensitive people run in short supply in this world. You sound like you are both good and sensitive. I think that’s a good thing.
I don’t know anything about hanging, but yeah, falling would be bad. Brain damage is worse.
And I meant to say I am sorry about your dog. I have 4 cats and they make me so happy, even when they do stupid shit like try to sharpen their claws on my leg.
I would recommend getting a new dog. Of course it won’t be the same – all critters have their own personality. But there are a lot of dogs waiting for a good home and someone to love them out there. Are there any rescue shelters in your town?
I am going to try and get another dog. Ellie, I am not from the US. After reading these comments I have come to this conclusion. I am not going to end my life just yet. I wish that the new dog will bring me much needed happiness that I require. I thank the people who commented on my post. I was not expecting anything. I wish you all a good day 🙂
I am very happy to hear you are planning on getting a new dog and that you plan on sticking around. I would love to hear about him or her once she gets “home”!