Christmas without you is hell…..we never had family to have over, or the money to have the “average” Christmas……but I miss going out of my way to get you a lot of nice gifts, because I enjoyed seeing you smile. And it always made your worthless scumbag of a husband angry bc the only reason why he even got that $10 gift card is bc you made me get him something…..a pile of shit in a box crossed my mind a few times……as crappy of a mother as you were, I always loved you with all my heart. You were my bestfriend. I knew you tried. Why was I never enough? Why wasn’t I good enough? Why was the abusive scumbag who you were enslaved to……spent all your money on drugs and pure nonsense when we did without so many things…..(like idk….heat? A toilet? A house worth more than $500?) your main priority? Why mom? What did I do deserve it all? You did a poor enough job marrying my sperm donor but that creep shocked the hell out of me. You try to act like I should be okay but you knew all the hell I had been put through…..you hated my father for the things he did to me, but your little shithead was 10 times worse. But anything that gives you some is put on a pedestal. Because you are selfish. You stopped taking birth control behind my father’s back bc you wanted a child that damn bad…..then you treat it like shit and throw it out on the streets bc it had emotional issues….partially bc of YOU….and you would literally sacrifice everything for your little gang banging, drughead. You disgust me. I just pray you grow a brain and leave him….not for my sake….you need a man, you are married to a child. Ik you can’t see this, but it’s been eating at me and I have no way of telling you how I feel. As miserable as I am on this Christmas….without you, any friends, or family, fixing to hide off somewhere so I can cry….I’m just thankful that (hopefully) God cares about me….and I’m off the street. And Ik things have to get better. I’m just completely hopeless and hanging on by a thread.
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Just keep hanging in there, by that thread if necessary, things can get better. You have had such a horrible life so far, your mother seems to be besotted by this boyfriend of hers, she can’t see what a vile monster he is, just hope she realises soon. Still 18, you deserve better, you’ve gone through hell which clouds your opinion of yourself, making you think you are worthless/hopeless, you are definately not. You’ve gone through such a nightmare, making you attempt suicide more than once, but I’m sure you can be strong now, enough to turn your life around. To know that someone, miles away in the UK, is writing this because they care that you do succeed in life.
Thank you. And unfortunately he is her husband…..of a hellish 8 years. That wasn’t near everything, just a quick summary….a letter to her. I just can’t take it anymore. And this is the only place I can go to vent about everything without being judged….bc everyone on here has been there. Thank you for the kind words. Merry Christmas from Texas.