I don’t necessarily know why I’m here. I guess I’ll just say that I keep thinking about killing myself. My stress is through the roof. Everything in my life is crashing down. I feel like I am making everyone miserable despite the fact that I am trying my best to be my best for them. The only reason I couldn’t ever kill myself is because of my mother and my brother. It would hurt them tons. I don’t know how much longer that will be enough or if I’m just some weak human being who can’t handle things that aren’t to her favor. I just want to know if it’s that I’m a bad human being or if it’s just that I’m sick of fucking up things for people who mean so much to me. I need some support but I can’t seem to do it, or open up. Not like it matters. I hope you’re all okay.
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I’m in the same boat. I’m hoping to end my life soon and be free of all the pain and make everyone else’s life better. I really don’t think you’re a bad person based on what you’ve said. We all make mistakes and hurt people. I recently lost my girlfriend with all the mistakes i made and today she basically told me there’s no chance she’ll ever love me again. It’s destroyed me. (apologies for my complaints). You should not worry that you make people miserable, it’s likely they care about you and enjoy having you around. Life does get really difficult sometimes. Some of us (such as myself) get defeated and end the pain. Others push forward and become better people, and I think you’re capable of that. Do what I cannot and get yourself some help. Find the little things in life that bring you joy and surround yourself with people who do the same for you. I wish you the best and I hope that you find a way to feel better.
Thank you for your response. I really appreciate it. I think that you’re wrong. Not in that I can’t help myself but that YOU can’t. I know you can. It may be hard and tough but if anyone can pull through it it is someone willing to give advice to someone in a terrible spot like me. Take your own advice. You’re stronger than you think.
I understand your point about not wanting to hurt your loved ones and that being the reason that you don’t end your life…it is my reasoning too. I don’t know you but I bet you are not the bad human being that you see yourself as. A couple months ago I hit a wall in my life. Everything that I could mess up, I did mess up; this includes relationships that are important to me. At the time I thought that those mess ups defined me and that’s just who I was but things got better for me and I hope they get better for you soon! Mind > matter… think positively and don’t put yourself down for things that are going badly, I believe that you will get past it!
Thank you so much for your support, I really am trying to hold on and look for help. Things can get better, they always can, it’s just rough having to deal with thinking about killing yourself or having it be the first thing that pops into your head when things get rough. I’ll hang in there, thank you again for your kind words.