I’ve never been to any forums like this, so forgive me if I make a mistake. Here’s the problem. I don’t want to exist anymore. There’s so many things that are wrong in my life. First of all, I hate myself for this, I am bisexual. Now this may seem fine, but in the place I was raised up in. Gays and bisexual people were hated. I haven’t told my family because I’m too scared but a few of my friends know and they took it in really well. I have one really good friend that knows about my problems, he’s been supporting me a lot. But the thing, is I have a crush on him. I can’t stop thinking about him. I hate myself for this. And I feel extremely guilty because I’ve jerked off while thinking about him…. I’m constantly getting neglected by my parents as well including my brother. So now I have no one to talk to, also my friend can be a bit ignorant on the topic. By saying stuff like do whatever you want or just ignore it. So I refrain from talking to him about my problems. So I have no one to talk to. Hence why I came here. I’ve never self harmed but have definitely though about it. Any ideas or help would be really appreciated.
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Hello, TheSurge. First, I don’t think you should feel guilty about thinking of your friend in a sexual manner. I think it’s completely natural for you to like him considering he’s been supportive of you. I understand it would be tough to have a relationship with him because he may not feel the same way, and it also seems like he doesn’t want to face your feelings. I’m not sure how to give advice on this subject because I think it’s a matter of time and trust. I think it’s about when you feel ready to open up about your feelings for him and how much you trust him to still treat you with respect afterwards.
I understand the fear you have about telling your family you are bisexual. Many LGBTQ face this. I know some will only tell their family once they have a back-up plan, like being able to move out on their own if they are rejected by their family.
I’m sorry if I wasn’t of much help but my heart goes out to you. It’s sad we live in a world full of people who are judgmental, but there’s nothing wrong with you. I want you to know that.
This is a little off topic but I wantd to ask is there a way to personal message someone in this forum?
Also thank you so much for your reply. I really appreciate it
You’re welcome. 🙂 From what I know there’s no way to personal message someone on here. Usually you have to get in contact some other way like e-mail. I usually drop my e-mail if someone asks me for it, so if you need to contact someone here it’s best to ask for their info. I hope I could help. ^^
Hey, I wanted to ask can I have your email? I need someone to talk to…..
Of course. 🙂 You can e-mail me at hiohneh@gmail.com. I’ll be sure to listen and reply ASAP. 🙂
Oh, just took me a second to realize that my comment went into moderation. It should come up soon with my e-mail. If not, here’s the broken down version: hiohneh[at] gmail [dot] com. Feel free to e-mail whenever you get the chance. I’ll be sure to listen and reply. 🙂
Don’t ever let anyone make you feel bad or ashamed of who you are. I know sooooo many bisexual people who are afraid to let people know or talk about it. I also know sooooo many people that at I wasn’t aware that were bisexual & was actually shocked to know. Some of them though I would reject them or was disgusted by them but I was just shocked that so many people I know are bisexual. I don’t have a problem with it but they’ve all had a hard time because the way people treat them. 🙁 Some were rejected by their families & to me that’s sad. I hope you find happiness & decide you want to exsist. I can understand how you feel about your friend. Don’t feel guilty about your feelings. There’s a sea of bisexual people out there who can totally relate to you. You will find them somehow!
Thanks a lot. I want to tell my family but I can’t. I’m too scared. I’m afraid they would disown me…… I want to have a future, I want to exist and see what I amount to. But I don’t think I can. I’m trying my best to be happy, but all I can do is put on a fake smile. I don’t know what to do anymore. I have no one to talk to. Apart from my friend, but I’m trying to stay a little bit away from him, so my feelings for him don’t grow. I’m tired of breaking down when I’m alone. I want this to stop but I can’t.
Hello there.
I know what you mean with not being able to talk to someone about anything because I’ve been like that for so many years and every time I tell a friend, it feels like they are too immature to understand or they don’t care. I can’t offer you much advice but I can offer you my full support because I know what it feels like to be feeling ostracized and having to keep in everything.
Surge, perhaps you should tell your friend what you are feeling. It’s really hard, so damn hard, I know it is, but you might regret never telling him for the rest of your life and you will always think about it. Of course, not right now. Do it when you see fit, do it when you are ready.
Never feel ashamed about yourself. Whether you’re gay, straight, bi, trans, there will be a person out there who will care for you all the same. I hope I am not hurting you when I say that perhaps your family may never 100% accept your sexuality, but there are many other people who will support you, I know it. I had a friend who was gay and got kicked out of his house, and it took so many years but his father finally gave him a call and accepted him.
Never lose hope, never give up, never stop looking for your own happiness. We live in an imperfect world with so many hardships each of us have to hurdle. I hope that you will find your happiness and live in peace. My heart and support goes out to you; much strength.
Hey, I’m considering telling my friend, but not now. Also thanks for your support, you have no ide how appreciative I am. And I know that my family won’t accept me for being bisexual. That’s why I won’t tell them. I’m trying to be happy, to gain hope, but it’s like my feet are stuck in tar and are chained as I’m trying to move forth.