It Hurts Like Hell

I hate that I have to struggle to find reasons to get out of bed to pretend to be human. I’ve had so many traumatic experiences and have lost someone I love and every day is the same I’m always alone. The thing about suicide is it feels like I should stop wasting my time with a miserable humiliating life that no one would want. I often wonder if I’m genetically inferior because I’ve always gotten sick easily and have had depression since I was 11. I was supposed to die when I was born and I wonder if I’m being punished for still being here. I don’t know how to explain it. Everything in my life hurts like hell.