Shit I should have stayed at work if I’d have had any idea this would be a night of screaming and hollering about Lady Gaga and other anorexic girls and “how good” it looks when you can see every bone in their skeletal bodies! It’s like I truly don’t exist and I’d be my fucking paycheck I’ll be spending my birthday alone because he’s probably getting girls left and right now.
Shit, I’m getting to the point I wish I hadn’t ever met him. It’d be so much easier to go on thinking that Jamie (from Twiztid) was the hottest guy on earth. Shit, he’s famous and he listens to me more. No I don’t get to talk to him but he sees what I put out online. It would’ve been so much easier just living that way, without meeting someone else on that level.
38 comments
So basically your boyfriend is gushing over skinny girls?
Unfortunately he isn’t my boyfriend. I wish he’d give me a chance but he never will.
What is it you like about him?
Lifelong attraction to big and tall men, lifelong desire to get a guy who likes the same music and stuff as I do, lifelong tendency to spot the Scorpio.
I see 😀 What kind of music and stuff do you like?
Is there anyone else you can spend your birthday with? Try not to think about him with other girls, or what they look like. Been there, and it only drives you crazy.
I’m sorry your evening is so bad. Please try to distract yourself from those thoughts. Any time you manage to stop thinking about it means you’re more likely to think about it less in the future. You don’t deserve to be in that kind of pain.
No. I have no one. I’m alone in this world. Seriously.
I hope that changes for you.
Not looking like I do it won’t
That’s not a reason for it not to change.
No one cares about my feelings either. It’s like I don’t even exist most of the time. My life is truly depressing, useless and pathetic. How other people treat me is a big part of that. Having no real friends is torture. Nothing I do ever changes that or makes people give a shit about me.
Personally, I’m not attracted to super skinny people so if a super skinny person said to me, “Hey, we’re such good friends, we should totally go out sometime,” I’d have to politely refuse. I wouldn’t be so mean as to say this out loud, but if I wasn’t attracted to their body type I wouldn’t be able to date them. Most people have preferences, you were just unlucky enough to fall for someone who’s preferences are the opposite of yours.
He doesn’t have to rub it in my face and act like I’m not human
Yeah, I would never do that to someone.
I would be curious to know the context, and some of the things he may have been stating. This is assuming a lot, but entertain me for a second. If he doesn’t consider you a viable mate then he must consider you a friend. When you are with friends people have a tendency to discuss the things that sexually arouse us, which makes sense humans think about sex quite a bit.
Could he have been just openly discussing his sexual interests with a less than empathetic quality, and because you do see him as a viable mate reserving feelings for him; did you take his statements of preference personally? This is assuming he may not have been trying to be in your face about it at all.
It is just my inclination to debate that makes me curious enough to ask about the context, and I mean nothing offensive by asking it. Simply itching a scratch.
Honestly I’ve seen your pictures and read all your posts and you look like a man or a butch woman. If you want a straight man then start looking like a woman take care of your appearance, wear womanly clothes, grow your hair. Embrace your feminine side. The sad truth is no straight man wants a woman who looks like a man.
No man wants someone fat, period. And I’ll always be big. I was never made tiny.
And by the way don’t tell a Trans person to conform to their birth sex.
Well I’m not telling you what to do just a few suggestions that I believe is the only way you will find happiness with any straight man. It’s not about your size I know heaps of fat woman with pretty hot guys but they look like woman. I know your transgender but what’s worse conforming to your birth sex which you still have all your parts or living a lonely existence. I don’t believe it’s because your fat that you can’t find a man its simply because you look like one. What straight man wants to look gay? I hope some guy is out there for you somewhere and would accept you for who you are though.
Hi, I’ve read a few of you’re posts over time, and it certainly seems like a trying situation with this guy. And I’ve also got the impression that you are quite sensitive, which doesn’t bdo much to help an already fragile sense of self- worth.
So, after reading the past couple of posts, I felt I wanted to reply, but was rather worried to come across as insensitive. Then, I figured essentially, all I wanted to say can be more- or-less summed up in this question:
‘if he didn’t look the way HE does, would you still consider him such a fantasy guy?’
From your posts, admittedly I thought he was just an ass hole. But the more you wrote about him I couldn’t understand what you were getting out of seeing him aside from being around a guy you find hot and investing in a dream that you seem to know won’t come true but still hang on to; while at the same time feeding this self-destructive mis-perception you have of your appearance. You’re as much a skinny model as you are disgusting. Spending time with this guy just seems to antogonize the fact that you are not the former, and obliterate the fact that you are not the latter.
Anyway, Sry, just my 2 cents, you seem to have a lot of other issues on your plate atm, you might want to take a step back and evaluate whether or not this guy even deserves to even be on your menue ..
I think a lot of us have incredible challenges when it comes to how we see ourselves. That makes it all the more important to cut out the toxic people in our lives and try our best to foster healthier relationships with ourselves and the people that show us they are worth our love.
Though, admittedly, im writting this after spending the last week basically in bed watching the same 3 movies over and over again. So, I guess this is advice to be taken with a grain of salt lol.
No, you make sense.To answer the question of looks – at first when I thought I had connected so deeply with someone, looks didn’t matter. I found it odd to see him as gorgeous at first because I initially thought he looked similar to abother friend’s brother who has cereal palsy. There’s also a wrestler with a similar look. But at this point, I don’t see him in the same light, and am only hurt deeply by how he can hurt me so bad and be so cold.
Cerebral *. I hate this phone.
if he treats you badly, in my opinion that would cancel out any physical looks/attractiveness that he has. He cannot be physically attractive if he has treated you so badly. I mean, even if you think/used to think he was/is physically attractive, he isn’t. His behaviour certainly isn’t attractive.
I agree with No more. I’ve often found myself losing interest in someone, including their attractiveness, because of their negative traits.
As i struggle to be on time as usual, ditto. I find a huge co-relation between how people treat me and how i perceive them (but i’ve always found that normal). I always remember back when i was in my early twenties, i had this girl behind me which apparently everyone found was attractive except me. My reasons? she was rude, extremely egotistical and her only asset was having good looks. I never was able to take her seriously, no matter how good looking everyone said she was (and i could see it, but just… nope, didn’t click with me if the personality sucked).
Ditto Optimus. Beauty is chipped away by cruelty. I guess I should ask my self why I am attracted to cruel men regardless of beauty? Maybe you should ask yourself the same disgusting? I have a lot of reasons why I find myself with cruel men, despite their looks and so not to risk turning this into an episode of Dr. Phil I won’t list them.
What it boils down to is that deep down, no matter how much lipstick I slap on that pig I call my ego, I just don’t feel I deserve it.
It is cancelling it out for the most part but I don’t take things like love as lightly as most people do. I don’t fall easy at all and he’s really the only person I’ve met that I’ve gotten that close to. It doesn’t change what I think of his looks so much, but I’ve been shit on far too much and all I feel is pain. He really has NO CLUE. He thought I was being antisocial last night. He has no fucking clue whatsoever that I have feelings for him to shit all over.
In society people who are deemed as ‘fat and ugly’ are invisible. Such people are ridiculed and made fun of, even in the media. There was a few stories about domestic violence here a while back. It only contained ‘attractive’ women. This is inappropriate as anyone would know people of ALL appearances have experienced domestic violence. I am not saying you are experiencing domestic violence, it was just an example to say that ‘fat and ugly’ people are invisible in society.
Don’t know why I am saying this, but zoos kill cubs because they are not ‘cute’ anymore. Appearance is so damn ‘important’ in society that they even do things like that. Of course, if it was something like ostracizing ‘fat and ugly’ people in society instead the media wouldn’t mention that. The ‘cute’ animals were only mentioned because… people can get attention from that ‘look at me i care about animals’. Society even puts animals above ‘fat and ugly’ people. That’s screwed up. Everyone is a living breathing human being regardless of appearance
Ugly maybe, but fat? I’m not as sure. I feel like I meet plenty of fat people who take up a lot of space in the landscape, and I don’t just mean physically.
I’m skinny and I sometimes feel like people don’t even see me, they just walk right at me and I have to get out of their way to avoid collision.
But sure, in our superficial, fast-moving world people are very much judged by appearance – after all, who has time to delve deeper?
Skinny guy here and i can attest to that. The thing (imho) is that it’s been a matter of convenience for a lot of time. It’s no longer “let’s discriminate the fat and ugly” it’s “let’s discriminate anyone that gets in my way”. I’m saying this because i’ve been discriminated as: obese, regular, skinny, extra skinny. If it suits someone, they’ll find the way of using circumstances to their favor, no matter how “perfect” you might be.
I think you’re very right about that. I’m guilty of it myself at times and I do think it often comes down to being stressed out, busy, absent-minded etc. more than malice.
I’ve been humiliated and degraded by every woman who has ever seen me naked but I have had dozens of gay men attracted to me. I have had so many offers from gay men that it seriously frustrates me that I am not bisexual. I have absolutely no attraction to males. I am attracted to very feminine women with a strong attraction to Asian women. I can’t change what I am attracted to. I wish I was attracted to men as this seems to be the only way I would ever find a p@rtner who was attracted to me.
If one of these skinny 100lb women were attracted to you, would you go out with them. I’m guessing not as you have made it clear that although you identify as male you are only attracted to males with a strong attraction to tall, bigger guys. That is what you find attractive and you can not change that. No one should blame you for not wanting to be with a small petite woman.
Yet your dream guy has told you he has no romantic interest in you and only sees you as a friend. You identify as male and it appears your dream guy treats you as one of his male friends. He is heterosexual and you want to be accepted as a man but you want him to see you as a woman. I don’t think he is deliberately rubbing anything in your face, he just thinks of you as a male friend and treats you like any other of his male friends. You can not make him out to be a bad guy because he is attracted to small, petite women. I don’t see how anyone can be expected to change the gender and their type that that are attracted to simply to accommodate another persons wishes.
@ Mike: I wish I could wave a magic wand for you this morning so you could be gender fluid. I get the whole: man that just doesn’t do it for me.
I’d be happy to just have a wand… doesn’t have to be a magic wand…haha
You’re wrong only in that a friend should have consideration for their friend’s feelings if they truly consider that person a friend, even if that person is attracted to them. It’s completely wrong for him to act like I’m not human and don’t exist. He writes it off in his mind because he can’t fucking take someone else’s feelings into consideration and he’s said it admit few times that it’s too hard for him to have to think of my feelings. He just doesn’t fucking care, and that’s wrong.
Guys rarely ever consider their mates feelings, they often sleep with their mates ex’s and do all sorts of inconsiderate things to each other. He is treating you as one of his male friends and not considering you as a woman who has feelings for him. It’s difficult because you want to be accepted as a man but still want him to treat you like a lady.
No I want him to treat me like a human being who has feelings which he clearly can’t do.
Do you ever see him be considerate of anyone’s feelings? Just wondering.