A teenager growing up in a world where he has many friends, he gets good grades, he’s athletic, he likes girls and girls like him, it seems like nothing can go wrong in the world. He loves spending time outside. He loves snowboarding, soccer, basketball, and football. He’s finally met the girl of his dreams and he’s in a relationship with her. He’s in college and he’s loving his freedom. He studies, but not as well as he should. He’s off in his little world, populated by the students of his college, where nothing can touch him from the outside. The only things that harm him are the things inside his world, or his few strands of reality that connect him back to the real world.But then he goes home. Home is where death awaits. Home is where fights are fought. Home is where anger seethes and depression rises underneath the skin. Home is where hearts are broken and scarred.
This is me. I don’t get it. I don’t understand how I can be such a happy person away from home, and as soon as I get home, all hell breaks loose. I just sit in my room on my laptop until I’m forced to put it away. I just don’t get it. All I think is about suicide and how much easier it would be for me to just leave this house, this place, this hellhole forever. Wouldn’t it be easy? I just don’t get it…
3 comments
It sounds horrible to have your “home” be somewhere where you feel so bad.
I hope you let the good feelings you have when at college win, and maybe someday you can raise your own family, in a different kind of home, a happier one.
Family problems suck, have you ever had anyone from outside you could talk to it about?
yeah i have but all those bridges have burned away. its like they sympathize for me but they don’t really get it. they say they have family problems too but i don’t know if they know how bad it really is..
Yeah, there are definitely a lot of people who aren’t really that good at or comfortable with talking about these things. But once in a while, someone will understand and maybe even be able to help.
I definitely think you need to talk about this with someone, because it sounds very unpleasant. Some people end up cutting the connection to their family, but I think that should be a last resort.